Freedom Of Life

It hurts~

2011-11-14T09:15:00.001-08:00

O_O just realized the title sounds damn emo.

Anyhow, for these past few months, i realize I've hurt a number of people that I really didn't mean to. Not hurt them by stabbing them or kicking their balls~~ Hurt them as in bring dissapointment, anger, sadness and all the negative emotions that I would least to expect.

And everything is caused by one little aspect ~ Self confidence.

For these past 2 years, my confidence level has fell gradually and only dropped greatly in these recent times. I no longer am able to do things that I usually do when i was in my old high school, and it brings loads of dissapointment to the people around me.

I really want to apologize to my economic and maths teacher for not being able (or more like not willing) to perform for them during my last year in school. They did mention before on hoping to see me dance live but i was too timid and shy to do so. I'm really sorry~

Most of all, i really want to apologize to my master. The whole time she has been there to help me, and advice me on my depression especially on my confidence level, and when an opportunity came, i blew it in just a few minutes. I feel really stupid and ridiculous. Plus the audience was just a minimal of 1. I could have just easily danced it off >_<

Yes, i'm still thinking bout it since 5pm this afternoon and i couldn't stop till now. Dancing used to be my passion and I always fight for the opportunity to perform. Nowadays? I rather sit between the audience and clap after every performance.

I want my old self back. This maxine ain fun >_<

What am i becoming

2011-11-10T03:20:00.000-08:00

All these while My parents have been trying to put me one step higher from the society so it would help me alot when i grow up next time. I appreciated the music classes, the early english education, the dance classes, the acting classes and even the singing classes. Of course, i also appreciated the 3 years advance syllubus they would always shove it down my throat when I used to attend kindergarden.

I've always been confident in myself wherever I go all there years (excluding these 2 years). Although my appearence don't seem to attract the opposite sex but i'm confident in myself that i could achieve many things eventhough many people have been telling me to fuck off.

I manage to get NOMINATED for my queen guide award, i manage to organize a camp where most adults couldn't, i manage to dance in front of hundreds of people can not quiver in fright, i manage to give a speech in front of a whole school and not feel embarassed about it. Instead, i'm always happy and satisifed with whatever I manage to do and achieved. And its from my confidence that I've made many friends (not sure if they're true or just being 'mean girls') and be proud of them.

I don't deny that I do make mistakes on the way to success and every path i take, i still slipped into a tiny river that passes that path, but i always get myself up from the river and continue the journey and learn a better way to cross that path. I don't deny that at times my foolishness get myself embarassed and i don't deny that I'm not pretty. But its my foolishness that makes people happy. Its what I am makes people remember me "The bubbly chubby girl", its my mistakes that make people remember me even more. I sometimes still could feel what I used to feel and think about myself last time.

The confidence that I gave myself was tremendous and it has more to come. But recently, things have been on the downturn of my life. I become more and more unconfident with my appearence, my skills are lacking bacause of "gawd knows what reason", I've became a very emotional person, I've always crave for sympathy instead of happiness. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME??

I tear as i type this post because I just feel i'm being more and more ridiculous. I used to manage big events and serve the big VIPs during my secondary school days. I used to dance in front of crowds and not be ashamed of it. I used to sing in front of parents and feel proud of it. NOW? I feel like a total JINX! I can't even master a simple skill!

Everytime I do something I aim to achieve, i end up landing myself into big trouble. For instance, driving. I know driving takes time for people to master and of course to be in our own nature. But all these while, i've been confident and I used to drive without a single problem. Now i can't even take a short 5 minute drive to a place I need to go without whacking somebody's backside (adding up that the car is my friend's instead of my own parents car).

THIS is really D.I.S.S.A.P.O.I.N.T.I.N.G!!!! How stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid and duuuuuuuuuuuumb can i get? Its a simple skil DRIVING and yet i can't mastered it. I've gotten my license for what? A year!! And thanks to people who make empty promises, my driving skills are a piece of shit to land on *sobs*

I really want to look at this in a positive way. Really I do, but how can I not look at the negative side? Its been a year, and a year is more then enough to master a simple skill. THE HECK! I learnt to start a REAL LIFE FIRE with REAL LIFE FIREWOOD within 2 weeks!!! That's harder then driving dude!!

There are people that I blame and costs that I have to bear on my own with the consequences that come with driving without parents. But what can I do?? Depending on them is equals to depending on a dead man to train you to drive WHICH equals to NEVER GONNA IMPROVVEEEE!! People are already driving right AFTER they got their driving license. ME? hmph..... Letting me drive in his car is equavalent to a really REALLY special dream come true~~~ Pfffffft

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*SOBS*

*Runs and hide to cry in sorrow*

I'm NOT a crying baby, its just that i've been holding for too long thats all.
Its been awhile since I last blogged, and now that I'm sorta back to blogging, a sad post starts the comeback of le author. Haizzz. Is it because form 6 life has lead me to plunge into dullness?

*Hypnotises self*

Be positive BE POSITIVE!!!

Who am I kidding, I really nidda improve on my driving skills, it ain coming as if its dropping from the sky! >.<

Any suggestions from not knocking any car's asses again?

Stress Release options

2011-01-26T06:59:00.000-08:00

Actually I was suppose to blog about this last year, but I procrastinated it for a few months and now only I manage to have the 'inspiration' to blog.... A one of a kind inspiration kononnya...

Anyway, as my title goes, probably you know I'm going to do something stress related. Well in this case, is more to stress + damn benggang case. So, instead of doing 3 things 3 times, why not........

3 IN 1????

Don't get it?

Biasalah......

My Majlis Tingkatan 6 club is trying to raise funds for our class page next year (Like I said this post was suppose to be last year so bare that in mind... ) So different people are in charge of different food or ingredient. I was in charge of ribena mocktail. So basically the ingredients are lemon juice, ribena (duh) and sprite or 7-up. Your choice.

So this was my 2nd time doing the ribena mocktail, and at the same time, I was seriously pissed off by someone which I forgot and so, with

This

and This

In front of me, I started doing this.......

I started smashing it up so badly I ended up having a sour eye due the over juice "ejaculation".

Initially I was suppose to just smash it abit so that the juice will come out easily, but that bloody woman's face was on all the lemon, so..................

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My benggang-ness brings results!!!!

TADAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

(Do ignore the milk.... it has nothing to do with Ribena Mocktail, but DO pay attention to the small teeny weeny bottles at the back.... ^^)

One whole portion of 2 fridges is full of bottles and bottles of Ribena Mocktail and guess what??

The next day, half was gone!!!!

Whooohoo!!!! Was happy that all my hardwork has paid off.... ^^

In the end, I got 3 jobs done in 2 hours....

It's all up to you how you compile everything into a creative pack of 'juice'!

Random post

2011-01-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

Childhood memories.....

2011-01-26T02:13:00.000-08:00

I just came back from school where I was craving for some Maggi....

So I went through all the ingredients storage box to look for it, then I came across this...

Memories of all my childhood came flooding back into my mind when I saw all these rubber bands I used to use when I was young...

My mum would literally tie my hair up into two plates every morning before I go to school. The she'll find a matching pair to tie on my hair. Since then I was known as the girl with plates in school as I was the only one allowed to have long hair (Besides another snobbish girl who look down on me because I'm chubby... Screw you!!)

I remember choosing my favourite pair before ballet classes and my mum would gladly tie my hair up... And because my mum was so enthusiastic to tie my hair everyday, she was the first to find out that I had 'company' in my hair... It freaked her out big time!!

Today, when I saw does rubber bands, I was so excited and actually went through the whole container like a kid... going Ooooooo Aaaaahhhhh.......

Can imagine??? Can la.........

Still, most of the rubber have already been cut of leaving the 'ornaments' for memories, but I still love them and would never part with them for anything.. Those ARE my precious before and now.... *Skips down memory lane....*

Studying part of my life???

2010-10-19T04:43:00.000-07:00

You know how studying can be a part of my life???? *SHOCK*

I didn't even know it's possible. I didn't even know I was capable of studying....

YES! I can study, but just a mere 20 minutes then I'm dead..

Especially when it comes to theory & stuff.... UGH!!! No way those stuff are going in my brain..

Its like you're going for a vacation where you packed shitloads of suitcases and you have to figure a way to jigsaw puzzle it into your car trunk. That's exactly how I feel...

First time in my life, I'm taking exams so seriously. Never in my life would I stay in school till freakin' 4pm to study........ ANNNNNNNNNNNND!!! It lasted for 3 WEEKS!!!! I can't believe that I actually did that, let alone stepping foot into the library.....

"There goes my bad girl reputation as bad girls don't go to the library... And i admit that i do."

But all well ends well, I finally forced myself into studying PP....

* It started of with "I HATE YOU".... Then, I pictured doraemon with His magic tools....

* When I realize it ain't happening, i came to my senses and started memorizing

* Then I started to go hungry... Being the lazy girl that I am, I didn't hunt for food, instead food chains interrupted my PP facts....

* From there loads of food came into my mind.... (DAMN! I want my student card!)

* Then I grew sleepy.....

* Sleepier....

* Slight snooze........

* Drop dead!

But at the end, I eventually manage to wake up and struggle through my bags, pack up and off to dreamland. You would be surprise how many things actually went through my mind that I couldn't sleep much that night... DANG you stupid memorizing!!

I still have to figure a way to force everything into that complicated organ of mine... Why can't I just have a pendrive slot on my brain?? It would make things SOOOOO much easier....

Hmmmmmm, I wonder.......

Exam Fever

2010-10-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

Haven't in my whole life, I've even had this feeling running through me, well except when i was so determine to achieve Queen Guide... (Sampai 5 packet nescafe pown x jadi..).....

I always take education so easily, I never prioritize them over this 11 schooling years. Now that Ive step foot into Form 6, things actually vend over the corner quite alot.

I have the adrenaline to study and work for the best during examinations. Especially for this final year exam, I find myself working extra hard just so to prove to myself, and a certain amount of ppl that I can make it, no matter what comes by, i still can get at least a passing score in form 6. Sincerely saying, If i would to achieve at least 50% in all of the subjects, I would really fly.

Is just that i can't believe i'm starting to perk up from my laziness and start working out everything. From Economics to Maths. (bare in mind that I used to hate economics). Now that I find myself focusing these both subjects as my about-to-be major subjects, I kinda like economics now. Maybe is the excitement when i'm able to solve most of the question, but still, everything you do must start with an interest.

Anyway..... My class had been the most 'interesting' I've ever got. Different personality and different colours in just a class of 9. There's even pakistani muslim and singh in our class which is really rare for a small class like ours....

Why 'interesting' i say?? well.....

Aw Maxine : I wan to kiss TASH wit my fishy mouth!

Tashveen Gill : WHr IS MY HANNAH MONTANA ruler!

Syafiqah Hanafi : F6 susah! Fatin:btul!Eyna ShahTina, MAXINE jeles u syg me more than her

Puteri Serene : Hey wt do u guys want to do for PBSM?

Christina : Talk crap

Clarissa Lee : Cn AL OF U KEEP QUIET ANOT! BISING! I Cnt DO MY WORK!

Now that's exam fever.....

Aw Maxine : STUDY LAR!!!
Tashveen : Eh hasina, pinjam pp notes
Syafiqah : Eh, cepat la bace.. nt pn thaju nk tnye wei....
Eyna : Studies half way then start talking crap
Puteri : Eh econs ade hwk x?
Tina : talking to claire "I see wwat i want to answer, then i compare my answer to the longman, shortman, fatman, thinman book...
Fatin : BELAH LA KAO!!!
syaima : "smiles innocently everytime making us wonder wats going thru her mind

laz but not least

Claire : Shit lo, i very scare lo, this dunno that dunno, die lo die lo...

hahahaha Loads of character.... Mite as well we juz reenact this whole scene on stage... heheh Good luck ppl for exam!!!

Troubled society

2010-09-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

All this while i've always complaint about BGS teachers being SOOO freakin' brainless...
Turns out I was wrong.

As form 6 in KHP, each of us are required to do a research on any topic we desired. It may be a topic we are interested in, or a topic related to any of our subjects we're studying. I was so confident when I heard we have to start our research by this week. I had my father on my side, I have friends who have done tonns of research, and I have relatives that can give me proper advice on a good research.....

So that was what i fucking did. I asked my friends, my relatives and my dad for a proper topic to come up with, and there all asked me the same question...... What is your interest???
DUH!!!! Of course music la!!! I can't survive without music. That is how I de-stress myself everytime I'm stressed up or depress.

So they ask me to relate my topic to my interest. At last My mum and I came up with 'Classical Music is not the choice of teenagers'.. Sounds professional right?? That's what a research is all about. You do a research, you upgrade yourself, and go a level higher then where you are before.

After I got my topic, I had loads of ideas running through my mind. I knew exactly what to include in my research, I knew the sources, I knew the people I can talk to, I knew what to relate to... I was soooooo confident in my research that I just started my research late last night.
And to my amazement, I found more sources then I already had. I was over the moon.

Coming to school with my "Happy-but-dunnu-going-to-be-hentam" look, I hand in my proposal to the teachers in charged........... And the feedback was....

@ Why your title so weird one?
@ Then you doing on modern era la? (i explained) Then why you doing it on classical music?? (I gave up talking to them)
@ Why your research so long one?
@ I think your research is too long and complicated.
@ Your research is too much for your level d.
@ Why do on classical music? Why can't you do something else?
@ Your proposal doesn't match your title, can't you change your title?
@ Your title is not relevant with any subjects your studying, why not do on business studies?
@ Cannot la, I don't think is suitable for your level
@ It's no use to your education ( with a smirk on her face)

Ok fine, talk all you want, but the most fucked up sentence she actually said was...

.

@ YOU DIDN'T DO THIS BY YOURSELF, INSTEAD YOU PLAGIARISE (COPY & PASTE) FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S RESEARCH?? (Bang my fucking proposal on the table)

What the hell was that for? You can criticise my proposal, you can give a polite feedback to my research, but YOU CANNOT FUCKING SAY I COPY AND PASTE SOMEONE ELSE RESEARCH!!!!! What the hell was that??? Eventhough I have resources, even I have people to help me, BUT I'M NOT AN IDIOT OK!!!! I do stuff myself, I don't copy other's research, thats just lame and unresourceful.

I am not that lazy, I am not that unresourceful. I ask people for help so that I can improve better on my research. When I do something, I aim for the best and to the highest standard. Even for common sense, if i were to copy and paste, It will be soooooooooooooooo useless for me... I would just be a dork in the Uni Society later.

You're just plain lazy, ADMIT IT! You don't know what the hell I typed in my proposal and THATS why you claimed that it was SOOOOOO complicated. Oh COME ON!!!! Don't tell me only business studies and maths are the ONLY subjects you think that is UN-COMPLICATED??

!!!!!!!!

I tend to love music more then your stupid business studies and maths ok!!

I tend to understand music better, and bare in mind..........

I TOOK UP PIANO 5 YEARS AGO!!!

SO what makes you think that I'm not capable of doing MY research EH???

I repeat....

MY FREAKING RESEARCH !!!!

AND ITS NOT FUCKING PLAGIARISM!!!!!!!!!!!!

You stated as if I did plagiarise someone's research, do you know I can go to jail for that you Dungus???!!!!!! I have a future ahead of me. So, if you think that you don't have a future, fuck off my life! I have an aim and I don't need people like you to fuck up my life. I'm good enough already without you. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

HATE PLAGIARISM, HATE IRRELEVANT CRITICISM

Parents, our saviour

2010-09-09T03:42:00.000-07:00

When we say parents, the first thing that comes in mind is what have our parents done to make us so against us. Whether they give us no freedom, or disapprove of what we plan to do, or go against our will, or sometimes even humiliate us in public. When we ask why, they would quote 'is for your own good!!'

Yes, I do admit that I sometimes do dislike my parents alot. I wouldn't use the hate word, but yes I do dislike. My parents would prevent me from going on outings that I really want to go, they would give me lectures that are given to me uncountable times, they would not comfort me when i'm down, and when i'm young, there would cane me for the slightest mistakes and they never pick me up from the ground when I fall down.

When I was young, I used to dislike my parents doing so. I see other kids walking with their parents and their parents would fuss over them with various kind of reason, either if the food suits there appetite or whether the clothes they were are 'presentable' to the society in their age. For me, there was no fussing. What was set by them, I would have to follow. Like it or not, eat it or leave it. That was how I have been brought up.

As I grow up, I faced various obstacles that made me turn to my parents for a solution. The outcome wouldn't be what I expected, instead they would turn the whole thing around and end up with a solution that is not related to my problem. We would often argue about my opinions and their opinion but however hard I argued, they always get their say and end up being mad at each other.

Now that I'm 18, I finally came to my senses that my parents do so to protect me, they have been on earth longer then I did and of course more experience then a mere teenager like me. They've gone through more obstacles and overcame tough ones then I did. And they did so to prepare me for the world I'm about to face. And I learn to come to the fact that my parents will always be who they are and no one will be able to change them. Even if they did something to hurt you in anyway, a filial child would still respect them as parents.

Recently I've heard numerous events about children abandoning their own parents after achieving success in the working industry. Apparently, there is a family, a very rich family, after secondary school, they send their children overseas to get the best education the ministry could offer. However, after they graduate, find a job and settle down, they tend to forget everything back at their hometown. Their home, their friends, their family, and even their parents.

Pfffffft..!!!!!!!!! SAY WHAT???? Children abandoning their own parents is the utmost sinful thing a child could every do! Parents give us life and they gave us the opportunity to see the world and live our life to the fullest... Without them, I don't think you'll be reading this blog anyway. Without your dad's sperm and your mum's ovule, you're nothing but a piece of shit!

You can actually brush your parents away especially when they make the tendency to visit you in 'your' foreign" land??? THAT is sinful, and no doubt, disrespectful... How could a person do that??? Your parents teach you everything you need to know, they kept danger away from you, they shower you with love and respect, and most of all, they gave you life. THIS is how you repay them?? By brushing them away, by ignoring their phone calls, by burning all their wish cards, by scolding them harsh words and NOT accepting them as your parents...

If that's the case, you are not worthy to be a son/daughter in the first place... You can go wherever and be successful but if people would find out that you don't have parents aka have parents but don't want to acknowledge them, you will be knock down on the ground so badly until you are LOWER than the ground, i can guarantee you that you losers!!!!

A friendly advice for all kids/teenagers who are still learning how to be filial to your parents which I doubt not many are.... Do appreciate your parents in every way is possible, they will always love you no matter what, they are your parents and you have to accept that no matter what. Parents are our saviour in everyway they are. Sometimes they might be hurtful and sometimes they might be harsh, but whatever it is, is for your own good~~~

Plus, they might not be around everytime to guide you in your life. At a point of life, they have to leave us to a better place, and if only then you start to appreciate them, is just a little to late... Parents have lived a longer life then us and gained more experience then us. Give them the chance to guide us, and they might lead us to a more successful life then we can gain. At least what we achieve in life, is their 'profit' or proud moment, to be the parents of such child.

Is just a few minutes to show your appreciation or your graditute to your parents. Just a simple kiss every morning or a simple phone call could cheer them up everyday. And is doesn't every cost a single cent. Parents are the only people in the world we could trust. And they are the only ones that are willing to sacrifice everything in the world for their children..

Overall....

PARENTS OUR SAVIOUR

Bare that in mind!!

Mum..... Dad..... I love you~~~~~

P.S... Don't take this the wrong way.... I ain't rubbing your backside for getting something I want.. I am sincere here..... Guides honour!! heheh

Where is it???

2010-08-15T00:02:00.001-07:00

I need inspiration to blog... Like mad seriously!!!

Too desperate already...!!!!!!!

Pudu Prison

2010-08-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

I know, this is a very very very very old issue....

But I just wanna state my opinion...

Everytime I wait for the bus opposite pudu prison, I stare at that wall for distraction.... Now that that thing is destroyed, it is a shame as I usually spot ang mohs there admiring the painting...

Although is not a tourist spot but still, it is a very attractive place for foreigners to visit...

My mum and I made a short trip there to collect some of the wall 'specimens' as souvenir... And yes, it is still at my house.... But we did snap some pics with my mum's phone.....

We did collect small pieces of it especially the exterior of the wall where the painting was... It can be a cool souvenir though..... ^^

Hidious pic of me~~~~~ Pay no attention to that standing figure =P

Chao!!!

Outing with Suki and Lisa

2010-08-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

You know, what I realize was, after graduation, the only people that I really kept in touch is Lisa and Suki. It seems like they were the only 'living being' willing to make time for a small gathering or just a normal 'yum cha' session... I don't know, that's just my opinion.

Anyway, recently, 3 of did had a spontaneous outing in Bukit Bintang once again. Initially we were suppose to shop for clothes and ya, I did want to buy clothes..... I admit that.....

We were walking and walking like nobody business and the two girls were all going cuckoo with every shop they pass by while I was struggling to find MY type of clothes... I don't see a single army pants or a hoodie top in the whole bukit bintang area..... *pissed!!!!

I actually wasted my day + going back empty handed..... * pissed square

But we did take ridiculous pictures...... In DA TOILET........ hahahahah

Of all the places they have to choose the toilet....... Y la aiyor.....

Anyway here are the pics..... If you see a toilet bowl, just ignore it, instead, pay attention to the person IN da picture, doesn't it sound more rational to do so?? *wink

As you can see from the picture on the above left, they are busy camwhoring with their own phones.... Can even compare somemore!!!!! X perasan ke Aw Maxinf standing here??

So at last, Aw Maxine decide to hyp things up~~~~

Driving Lessons and Driving test

2010-08-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, before this I was having a few sessions of driving lesson and this was actually my last driving session before my real test...

So I actually drove all the way to sungai buluh to go through my test syllubus with my instructor... I was doing fine especially on the road. I seldom make any mistakes and could mostly handle myself without any instructing from my instructor....

As usual, we did the going up the hill, parking and 3 point turn... after a few rounds, the instructor gave me a pre-test and i failed the 3 point turn as I was going too fast with the clutch... so I had to repeat the 3 point turn again and again after I got it right.

After that, I DID go cuckoo over the 3 point turn... I called suki and clarissa and they also thought WTH happened to me... heheheh. Ya so overalled I could say i was alright with the syllubus but I wasn't that confident in passing the test....

During the real test, turns out that I REALLY did failed the test..... Reasons?

1. Too nervous

2. Scare failed

3. High expectations of ppl??

But all along I'm trying to overcome this matter, but Just don't know how.... I sort of trying to psycho myself but that's not gonna work with negative surroundings.... Anyway... Good luck to me for my next round of test~~heheheheh

Really really really late updates.......

2010-08-14T07:03:00.000-07:00

26/7-28/7

Had our first test in Form 6..... Had a 'deciding on what to do' issue and transfered into arts one week before the test and yeay me???? Results wasn't that encouraging....

Society

2010-07-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

You know what, recently, a friend phone me up and told me about her difficulties in finishing her assignment. She is pursuing her diploma in hotel management and she's currently doing her first assignment, that is requesting a 5 star hotel manager to bring them around the hotel at the same time introducing the aspects of becoming a hotel manager and maybe considering it as a future career.

So, after receiving all the approval letters from her college authorities, she started her work in a team and started to choose a hotel for her assignment. I'm not going to stat what hotel she chose because obviously if I'd do that, it'll be bad for the hotel's reputation, not that my blog is viewed worldwide.

Anyway, after choosing hotel A, she started off emailing her request and approval letter to the hotel management, hoping they would reply her ASAP. Instead, after sending tonns of email, calling them day and night, faxing them the letter several times, my friend still did not get a single reply. Which really brought her into a 'damsel in distress' situation and ended calling me for a solution. @.@

Ok, this is the thing. What I see was, in the hotel management business, they are practically lack of people and stuff, sometimes I even see stuff running up and down the hotel multitasking due to lack of staff.

As a manager of the hotel, I know that the main objective is to produce more income for the hotel but seeing the staff being so insufficient, don't the manager ever though of how to involve more people into the hotel management business?

Is a rare chance that students pursuing hotel management course would call up a hotel to request a quick tour around the hotel. Hotel managers could actually use this chance to offer them a place in the hotel and maybe ask them to consider their hotel as their future career. A chance like this don't come often and I think is really ridiculous that hotels don't take this opportunity to increase staff enrolment.

Is similar to a case like a beggar is already suffering from poverty and when people offer money, her refuse to take it out of pride. Stupid isn't it? If there's chance right in front of you, grab it before other people grabs it. Don't turn now chances because of pride and self-image. People might criticize you now but later, you'll get the better times.

Is just too bad that people nowadays don't think that way....

Finally~~~~

2010-07-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

First thing first, I finally made a choice on what I'm might pursue in and so far I'm happy in what I'm doing. I really do hope that this time I won't back out and continue what I'm doing. The story goes like this....
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Once upon a time.... haahh ok lah, I'll go straight to the point. Anyway, GAAAAH!!! my leg is so freakin' itchy!!!......

Ok, as most of you know that I attended from 6 straight after I returned from my NS, and i chose Science stream. I thought I was able to cope as the teachers there was known to be quite pushy, So i decided to give it a try....

Turns out I was wrong. I ended up skipping school more then I've ever done in my life. I've never felt this way about studies before and I have never cried as much as this. I felt fear whenever I stepped foot into the school, I would shiver as I walk into the classroom, and I have never dared to ask teachers any question. I was so scared to that extend....

Finally, when I felt that I was going to explode, I told my dad everything and what I felt after a month in the science stream. My dad was surprise and He couldn't believe that all these while I was feeling that way. And the first time crying about studies is definitely not me...

So far I was able to withstand the most pressurizing situation and I was able to overcome with ease ans peaceful mind, but all of a sudden, I just drop at a point that I really couldn't hold back any longer...... I was in lost and I didn't know what I should do...

Even my parents was at lost in what should I do... I skipped school for 2 days, I had to spend a few days for me to wake up and make a decision... after thinking for a whole 4 days, I finally made up my mind in joining the art streams.

Although, as most of my close friends knows how much I hate banking, accounts and economy related subjects but I decided to give it a try....

After a week, I feel fine and I don't feel that fearful anymore. I tend to look forword to go for classes and to have a group of friends to help me everyday. Instead, I feel the urge to actually study sometimes.... which is good. And i'm happy. I really hope nothing will come across and I will enjoy myself for another one and a half years of CBN years.... =P

I also actually hope that there would be more activities in school that is more of a artistic approach... Performance, dancing, singing, acting.... Anything... As long as it involves stage act..... At least that can keep my mind of some stuff... *wink....

A happy person in CBN...!!!

No certainties

2010-06-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Is there even such a word???
Anyway... I'm having one of those mixed up emotions again.

I don't know why I have these feelings often and definitely is not PMS.

Usually when I do have these kind of feelings, I have alot of things on my mind. Sort of like a katrina in my brain to be exact. And I usually stay quiet at that moment cause if someone was to interrupt, I do the unthinkable.... (can imagine??)

Well, we'll skip that at the moment. There has been an issue that I've always been annoyed about......

You know when people cross the road... Ok, lets make it a busy road..
A normal person would look left and right before running across the road right?
I notice nowadays that people tend to just walk across the road before even looking both sides...

That I don't mind, that's your life, not mine; If you get killed It ain't my business, but people tend to walk as if that was their grandfather's road.. I mean...

H-A-L-L-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-!!!!!! WAKE UP DUDE!!!
ITS A FREAKIN' ROAD, IT AIN'T YOUR GRANDAD'S!!!!

If your crossing the road alone then fine, you die, die la, but
I'M FREAKIN' RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!! CAN YOU WALK FASTER???
I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIEEEE!!!!!!

Geesh!! Especially thoses teenagers who are 'dating'...
you know, those who loves to hold hands, wave it up and down,
doodle around, and say 'i love u' non-stop.....

Is a freakin' road!!!! Don't you people learn common safety procedures?
And you call yourself educated people...

Is like civilization all over again.....
*Slaps forehead*

Go back to school and educate yourself again...
Simple safety procedures also cannot follow..
No wonder so many people kena langgar la...

Blame who?
YOURSELF LA IDIOT!!

PLKN 2nd Reunion

2010-06-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

Alright, we're suppose to have a PLKN gathering today involving the whole Alpha company including boys and girls.... Instead, out of 100, only 7 people turned up...

5 boys and 2 girls... Don't that sound sad to you?? Depressing maybe??

YOU DO???????

GOOD!! Because it IS DEPRESSING!!!!!!!

Out of 100 a freakin' 7 turned up?? Where are all the buayaks?? Plus there are only 5 authentic buayaks there, the others are from other company. Other company lagi semangat then our own buayak to go for the reunion... Like WTH??

Anyway.... Since they said the gathering was 1pm (I thought so) so I kinda rushed to times square and reached there around 1.20pm.... then i called Gwen and she was only on the way....

So i lepak-ed around times square and ended up eating lunch in KFC.... booming gendang d my stomach... hehhe....

Gwen turned up at 3 sumthing whereas PA-8 and the gang turned up at 4pm.... SO much of starting the gathering at 1/2pm....

Instead of a gathering, since the numbers was so small, we practically walked alot today. From Times sqaure, we walked to sungai wang, then to pavilion, found out there was nothing to do there, walked back to times square and ended up in a KTV centre. (Which is quite famous for drug addicts and police raids)...

Didn't dare to sing a single song since boys were there.... scary neh....

Its been years since I last sang in front of boys (Besides my dad and bro, they love to shut me up whenever I start to sing... T.T)

And I left them at around 7 ....... to go CLUBBING .....

It was like eons ago since I last when clubbing... but this club is more like a proper club. Few prostitutes and more alcoholic drinks... lovesss....

Back home at 9pm, and had a slight dance session by myself... heheh.... Love the Lupin by Kara dance.... Super Chun... Bonamana aka Boom la mana is next.. hheh

I happen to do this... now no more d.... T.T

My new life.... Sort of.....

2010-06-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

Since after coming back from PLKN, I was messed up and all delusional as you all know from the last post. And I kinda thank the JLKN for sending me into the second batch.

At least that way, I don't need to 'grief' for so long. School actually occupies me and makes me thing no other but studies. I have to say, in CBN, I tend to concentrate more and study more. Maybe is because the competition is tight here and everyone wants to be the top student.

The teachers are also quite good, at least is not that kind that you ask more then one time then you kena scolding. So I'm quite satisfied with that.

ANNNNNND!!!!!!!!!! Today I went to school as usual not expecting any activities for us Lower 6..... Well, that was what I thought as this is a new school and we consider as new students. So of course lerrr we lay low from being too active.

Ended up we had to attend this so called 'Surprised' interview by the teachers to elect the new batch of form 6 prefects. Before I even came in to CBN, and when I graduated from BGS, i made up my mind not to involve in any post or activities during my form 6.

I mean I might still go 'harrest' the HQ at times but I won't be as active as I used to. Form 6 is a critical year for me and I really have to perform well in order to get at least a scholarship to University, and I'm major scared I won't get one.

But the teachers are sort of trying to push us to be a prefect. They said loads of good things about prefect and is sort of like a mind set changing environment that you'll change 360 degrees confirm....

That I don't know, but what I know is I really want to concentrate solely on my education right now and I don't need any extra things on my hands as it's already piled up.... So I really hope I don't get elected as a prefect. It would definitely safe alot of time for me and of course, the cost of getting a uniform will also stay in my pocket... ehhehehe...

Till then, gotta sleep!! NiteZ!!

Hidden words and Thoughts....

2010-06-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, I finally got myself to think straight and words are finally piling one by one to actually type this blog. My first blog after PLKN is finally over...

First thing that came to my mind when I reached home was *$%&$#%#%$#&$^*#%....
I couldn't think straight and everything was in a mess. I couldn't help myself but just blurt into a bucketful of tears then only myself would know.

It was only then, I found out that PLKN is finally over. No more Bangun bangun bangun, no more voices of the trainers urging us to be quick, no more eating together, bathing together, laughing together and getting naked together. (Too much detail, I know) And worst of all, no more KSP.....

Maybe is because of what I've gone through all there years, the emotion mixed up I've been travelling in. And when I stepped foot into KSP, my mind went into total clear and I felt as if a burden was lifted off my shoulder, I could think straight and all I felt was happiness...

It was the best 2 1/2 months in my life. I've never felt that happy and that stressless in my life. It was the first time in so many months I haven't had a messed up mind... Even for one day... My mind was total clear and I could make up my mind in everything I do... CLEARLY!!!!!

All I could say is I'm sad that I have to leave that place.... I love that place and will always love that place. That place was my 2 months escape from my 'prison emotion' and it was a place I truly enjoyed myself. My memories with me and left there will always be with me.

My foot steps in KSP,
My shouts in KSP,
My singing in KSP,
My lulluby in KSP,
My laughter in KSP,
And my memories in KSP......

Will always remain in my heart and my mind....
My heaven for 2 months is better then nothing.
KSP.....

PLKN Semester Break

2010-04-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ok..... It seems that most of the people that I get in touch with ask
"Max, WTH are doing home? there's no holiday!!" Then I would reply
" haha, its the semester holiday for NS" and they would go like
" Eh? Go semester holiday wan ar? Why last time my brother/sister/son/daughter/friend no semester holiday one??"
I would just chuckle off...

Anyway, is great and not too great to be back.
Great in the sense that I could have a week of rest and get back my beauty sleep =P
And check my heavily filled inbox stash with all kinds of junk mail.

Not great in the sense that, I really miss that place. I hope it would actually last forever truthfully saying. I never felt so free, so stress free, so relaxed, so unmad before in my life. It was like all my troubles went flying away when I was there.

I didn't want to leave the camp so soon, and I was hoping so bad that it would extend another month or so...
Anyway, there I would take tonns of photo like I used to.... so here are they...

My 'neatly' stash locker before leaving for the sem holidays....

Aimah, Jessie and I....... The way we met.... SMILE!

Chay, Aimah, Cikgu Ain (Jurulatih) and I.... Juz gotta love her..

With D chinese galz... Kate, Teresa, Max, Eileen..
Just before heading to church and temple. And yes its compulsary.

What???? I have to goof up some stuff.....
Nazz, Max, and Tham....

Yes people.... I do like attaching myself on the world on many occasions...

Trying to act all macho but look freakishly fat here... T.T

Tham, Max, Aimah

Looking at her reminds me of Kar Fong.....

Nazz and Max

HAH! Another K-Pop frenzy...

Lala n Max

Ok I admit.... I look soooooo childish here.....

Hey, a gal gotta go what a gal gotta do~~~~

Awwwwwww.... Love you Aimah!!!

Last group picture before leaving... Leha is leaving for matrix....

Leha, Aimah, Max, Chay~~

Group Picture!!! In our Full U... (Celoreng)
Spot me Spot me!!!

Gooooofin' off.... at least i ain diggin' me nose!!!

With another trainer.... cool lady....

Cheese ppl!!!!!!!!

How do I look? Should I add a tudung or what? hahah

All the chinese (besides tham) in our dorm wearing baju kurung.

(Wore em' for 5 years and no I don't feel awkward...)

Awwwwww..... We're so gonna miz u leha!!!

Leha, Max, Chay (in purple), Yan (in blue) and Tan

Group pic with our class outfit....

Seriously..... I wasn't wearing anything then.... =P

Seeeeeeee!!!!1 Told ya so.......

Cheeeeeeeeze~~~~~~ Jessie the flying sabahan~~~

Ang again.... Gorup pic..... hahaha all wan to camwhore d...

Sweet of Aimah to smuggle the cake for me~~ Thx aimah!!! and OH

Happy Birthday to Aimah's mum!! (Same birthday as me!!)

Happy Birthday to me!!!!!

(Juz woke up btw.....)

Well, thats about it... Imma going back to Camp tomorrow so is like a 50:50 ratio on excited and sad.... heheh. But don't worry, I will truly enjoy meself there....

Oh, one more thing.... Apparantly, not only me strip myself when i'm terribly hot... Others do that too especially during the afternoon... hehe... IN THE DORM LA OF COURSE... takkan la in the middle of the padang or class??!!!!

Short Break

2010-04-04T03:12:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps!!!! Back from NS for a short break... Phew! First week and things have already started to perk up. The activities are chun though......

I had alot of fun for the first week. This is only the first week... Imagine the first month?? I don't think I would want to come back though. Hahaha. Even now I'm kinda missing my dorm mates. T.T....

They are really great fun to be with. Hmmmm i wonder what are they up to now? Usually this time (12.41am) they would be knocked out already. Too tired from the activities I guess.. ekeke.. And i would be writing my blog.

WHAT????? Can't i write my blog?? They don't have computers there you know. Plus, you don't expect me to blog for the whole two months right? I would be struggling to recall what happened on which particular day.

I will scan them at the very day i complete my NS for now, pictures will tell you all. Don't laugh though... Some of them are really weird looking.. hahahaha

The second day together... All from KL except the one in white.. Nurul, from Sarawak...

Lady gaga pose!!! hehehehe weird...

Fooling around before bath time...

My bed and locker... Neat huh. I don't even do my own bed at home. =P

I say DON'T LAUGH!!!!!! left to right from top : Ajah, Hui Qian, Aimah, Fiqah, you-know-who, Jessie.

Group hug!!!!

Camwhore in the Dorm while waiting for our duties....

Left to right : Ajah, Aimah, Me, Lala (Asilah)

Supper time!!! Muffin and empty bun. I feel so empty without any filling.

Inner loreng, class t-shirt, and full loreng... Gonna try to look slim!!!

Piggy back jessie!!!

Piggy back Aimah!!! She loves it!!

Whoa! Squash by heavy ppl!!! Left to right from left : Aimah, Ajah, Me, and Gwen (tengah tahan berak ni)

Cute gal from Johor... Jiehah!!

My 'sleep'mate lala!!

Alright... back to NS again!! Will be back with MORE to tell..

CHERIO!!!!!!!!!

The big '1'

2010-03-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Finally it has come to the big '1'.
The day I've always been 'waiting' for has finally arrived and I am finally mentally and physically prepared to attend this freakin' long camp.

I wonder if i'm able to survive though ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

But now, I would like to wish an advanced Happy Birthday to anyone whose birthday falls in the month of April and May.

A big GOOD LUCK to all the WPQGC and hope all of you are able to be Queen Guides when I return!! (Is a must, all must pass!!)

And good luck to all my friends who will be going on for furthur education in any college, university, or school. Hopefully everything goes smoothly in your own personal way.

And finally, good luck to all PLKN participants!!!

I'll be gone by tomorrow and I'll BE BACK!!!!!!

Mark 12 June on your calender people cause THAT is D day where AW MAXINE is returning to KL!!!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

Bye for now!!!!

Camwhore

2010-03-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

These are actually my mid-childhood friends and I only got to camwhore with them when they are that big. Hmph.... The time we lost by fooling around. Maybe Dad wasn't confident in me handling the camera myself then. =P

I looked so sleepy.... Just had dinner.. duh~~

Kidmen (the younger one) fooling around like always

Cheese!

Us fooling around.... Gotta love the webcam.. No pimples.. hehe

Watchu thinking about? The webcam is here doh!!??

Darling angie~~ 13 This year. Can't imagine she's this big already..
I could carry her with a hand when she was little..
How time passes..

^^

The big '2'

2010-03-25T07:05:00.001-07:00

The countdown as finally reached the big '2' and finally coming to a '1'.

Hmmm talking about going to NS I'm actually quite excited and at the same time quite nervous about it.

I mean, excited in the sense that after years in girl guiding I feel that I'm one step ahead of most people when it comes to this kind of stuff... I learnt alot 4 years approaching 5th in guiding and if you compare me now and me 5 years ago, I would have to give a big thanks to guiding for this humongous change.

On the other hand, nervous in the sense that, all this while I've been going to camps which lasted 1 week the longest. And, this camp lasts 2 months. The first thought that came into my head was, "Can i survive this?". Not to mention the people I'm going to meet and the activities I'm going to perform.

Is my first experience going to such a long camp and I'm really looking forward to it. If you asked me a couple weeks earlier, I would hesitate to go and I would be all whiny. But now everything seemed to be clear and the pathway was 'safe' for me to walk on. So, i'm just gonna enjoy myself and be myself ^^

I just finished packing my bags and all my stuff for my next 2 months 'survival' and the outcome is GINORMOUS!!

My bag is HUGE!!!! 2 months what.... What to do? Takkan la ask your parents to ulang-alik to your camp every week?? Xiao ar??!!

Anyway, thanks for your good luck wishes.... Like Shereen always say :"

Aw Maxine won't die so easily!!" You bet I won't, I would be coming back, healthier and happier then before (Not to mention slimmer if possible =P)

Cherio people!!

Woah.....

2010-03-22T07:34:00.000-07:00

It definitely has been a long time since my last post...
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WHAT????? Was too depressed and lazy to update.

Anyway, I just came back from yet another Girl Guides camp in brickfields.
This time, I have to say I was so into the camp until i was sooooooo relucted to go home after the final days.

Maybe going home = NS approaching and I have to admit I was not prepared that time. Mentally I mean. Everytime that thought of going for NS came to me, I would shed tears and all the negative thoughts would come running in my mind.

Even when I keep telling myself that I have to be strong no matter what, and come on, stop being such a whiny!! This is JUST another normal camp, only is slightly longer than the usual 3 days 2 nights camp in HQ. AW MAXINE WON'T die that easily...

And yet, I still can't get over it.....

This morning, I went to the Defence department to get my NS letter, if I don't get it soon, there's gonna be loads of trouble registering myself there.. So to save the trouble, my dad drove us all the way to wangsa maju to get that one single piece of letter.... =.=... The work done to get A letter... *shakes head

When we arrived our destination, it was practically packed with people.. It was like sardine in there, plus the air-conditioning wasn't working very well so people were sweaty in there...Hmph!!

I gave in my IC number and the waiting starts... That half and hour was like the whole day... I mean how hard is it just to locate one freaking letter??? When the receptionist finally came out, she was holding a stack of letters with documents inside

Why can I see what's inside you ask?? Because, the envolope wasn't sealed in the first place, and some of the documents wasn't even in the envolope... I suspected they haven't even printed out the documents yet and when we requested it face-to-face, only they started printing it....

I mean if you haven't started printing yet, so that means you haven't started sending out letter to those letters..... Then how do you expect all the participants to receive it on time eh?? Tell me TELL ME!!!!

Anyway... I got loads to pack...
A long list....

Got the viral bug from camp.... Sick days before NS... yipee~~~~

Gotta go~~ tata!!!

No updates....

2010-03-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmm now that I've exactly 2 weeks before my 'departure', I'm currently searching for a college which offers A levels with a reasonal price. Any recommendations??

Any how, life has been easy going after myself knowing to the 2 major threats of 'd' year.... As time passes by, I've became more and more courageous, relaxed and beginning to look forward instead of regretting anything that has been done. I thank my parents for being so understanding, and of course I'm thankful for being able to go through that moment without tears.

As from this moment, I wouldn't want to discuss anything related to SPM as this is already the pass in my life and I wouldn't want to bring it up that often and recieve comments which I wouldn't want to hear.

As for NS, I welcome positive comment about it but negative ones are discouraged. All I need is time and self recovery to overcome this 2 major threats. A week ago, I would feel disoreinted, depress, stressful, but now I'm feeling less nervous about NS and I even look forward into attending it. Who knows? I might even look better after I return.

Hahahahah.

So.... that's about it... I just came back from a genting trip last week, I'm seriously lazy to blog about it but you can view my facebook profile for the photos.

Cherio for now!

Updates.....

2010-03-09T23:40:00.000-08:00

You Know, every since I got the updates on my NS, I've been more worried about it then my SPM results. I don't feel nervous at all, I still am able to fall asleep.... that's a symptom, plus all the GG activites I'm gonna miss out during my 3 months leave.. T.T

Is just sad, though... Not to say I won't enjoy the activities prepared there but I still prefer to stay in the comfort zone and enjoy myself in the HQ.

Next Thursday will be the first and last camp for me this year before I head to NS. I'll have to make full use of this camp and really let my hair go, before I have to torture myself into loosing weight and waking up during ungodly hours everyday..

I won't be able to use the computer and my phone that often anymore, which is fine actually... I would miss my facebook gossip and blogging that's all... Not to mention the clicknetwork.tv updates....

Plus the thought of me turning 18 in a 'cell' is seriously not a welcoming thought at all... I mean most people get intact with their NS friends but somehow, celebrating my bday with them (that's if they know when my birthday is), it won't feel the same as celebrating it with my closed ones.

The feeling is different and the surrounding is different. It might turn out good or vice versa. *imagine self singing happy birthday song holding a cupcake*
I hope you know what I mean. I'm not trying to be whiny or anything but, the feeling just doesn't feel right.

*wails....

I still need time to get over it....

16 days in counting....

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&^&#^(*$^&$%@#^^&*#@#^^&!#^#*^@^
#$^$**(&^%^$*$%$&%&$^

NS update

2010-03-09T00:38:00.000-08:00

Semakan Status Terpilih Dan Semakan Penempatan Bagi Kump. 1 Siri 7/2010

NAMA	:	AW MAXINE
NO. KAD PENGENALAN	:	920419-xx-xxxx

KUMPULAN	:	2
PUSAT BERKUMPUL	:	STADIUM BUKIT JALIL (CAR PARK C)
NEGERI PUSAT BERKUMPUL	:	WP KUALA LUMPUR

NAMA KEM	:	KEM SERI PERKASA, MANTIN, NEGERI SEMBILAN
ALAMAT KEM	:	BATU 8
		JALAN SEREMBAN-MANTIN, MANTIN
		MUKIM SETUL
POSKOD KEM	:	71700
BANDAR KEM	:	MANTIN
NEGERI KEM	:	NEGERI SEMBILAN

TARIKH LAPOR	:	27-MAR-2010
MASA LAPOR	:	09:30 AM
CATATAN	:

Am I supposed to be worried or happy instead, cause my heartbeat is really high at the moment.....

CNY 2010 ~~~~~

2010-03-04T00:36:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year this year and last year had been a really quite one. Since all my grandparents are in a better place, we seldom go back to our hometown which is in Kota Bahru, or to be more exact, Temangan... Which is waaaaaay deep in Kelantan.

Frankly speaking, being the daughter of a Kelantanese and being a Hainan myself, not being able to communicate and dialogue in these two languages is not something to be proud of. Yes, I admit it, I don't and can't understand a single word of Bahasa Kelantan and Hainan. Well, I can make out some if it but to communicate in it, it would be like playing the piano for someone who doesn't really appreciate it.

That is why, I'm still a banana when it comes to these two languages. I haven't even mastered my mandarin yet!!! Ask anyone of my classmates, they would tell you "Maxine's chinese ar?? Very cha wan!!! Sometimes speak out of tune somemore.... very funny wan!!!"........ I can bet everyone of em' would tell you the exact same thing!

Alright, back to CNY. We went back to Penang, as both of cousins 'migrated' there to pursue their studies. After the half day work my working company offered all chinese staffs, dad picked me up from work and we zoomed to the highway and head to penang to avoid major traffic.

I slept all the way... so I had no idea what happened on the way there.. Except we stopped by Dunkin Donut for lunch and the Penang bridge was freakin' jam when we reached. (Alright, after the lunch break in Dunkin donut, I swear I would never buy/touch/bite/eat/taste/eat a donut from dunkin donut... Is just to traumatising)

When we finally reached Penang after an exausted 5 hour drive/journey, we were all starving and my tummy was crying.... So we headed to this famous local food court. Well not technically a food court but is combine with a few houses to form one so.....

It serves basically penang's famous food like Prawn mee, ice-kacang, oyster egg, fried tofu and yada yada yada.... We had a feast that night, came home burping like no one's business.. Had steamboat too later that night as our reunion dinner. I don't know whether there is a tradition with steamboat cause it seems most people have steamboat as their reunion dinner... Or is it because is less troublesome???

The next day was the First day of CNY. Had a scrumptious breakfast my aunt prepared (you gotta love her Mee siam, the best!!). After wishing the elders, we head to Queensbay mall for a walk.

Butter cookies have always been a tradition in my family. Its a must to have it on the dining table every first day of CNY.

ANGPAOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was actually Bro's idea to go, he wanted to shop for some 'accesories' =.='

Guys with accesories... Seriously, he has more hair/skin/body care products then me. You don't see me going round the house squirming for a blackhead sticker.....

Eventually...... the whole mall was freakin E-M-P-T-Y. "Wow, no one for the first time.... cool" That went through my head and I was quite happy cause there was no one to bump into. We were walking round and round like a luna until the 'master' voiced that he was hungry...

SEE!!!!! The whole path was practically empty ~ ~ ~

Even the shops were closed.. Come to think of it, who opens during CNY? No one!

Well, at least the deco were fab. Do ignore the couple =P

We ended up in Kenny rogers tasting their new product... and seriously.....

IT WAS HORRIBLE...

(tasted like laksa then pasta)

Tangy is not tangy at all!!

The japanese Yee Sang I was preparing with my cousin. Worth the price!

Camwhore at the mean time!!

The main side dish.... SALMON!!!!!

Dinner on the First day of CNY. Ya, we forgot to purchase Yee Sang for breakfast so we did it during dinner time. =P

Ok, I was bored...... No harm right?

Fireworks!!!! Don't ask who is that, just aware that I'm the one snapping the pics!! ^^

We spent 3 days in Penang, and we head back to KL on the second day.

Was hungry so I bought some steamed peanuts to munch!!

I also did some house visiting on my own back in KL. With some friends of course..

We had fun visiting and dancing.... Best time of my life!!

Wan Ting being all pinkish for CNY....

Ok, I suggested something goofy and we came up with this....

S-A-D.

Cheerio!!

Singaporean Girl Guides Gathering

2010-03-03T23:35:00.000-08:00

OK..... seriously talking, I am really lazy to blog right now. It's been a few days actually, that I've been postponing by hypnotising myself "I'll blog tomorrow" then when tomorrow comes I'll be like " *grunts* I'm lazy, I'll blog tomorrow" and this went on till today where I finally forced myself into blogging...

Anyway, ya ya I know this event was eons ago and I'm only blogging it now. As you can see my symptoms, so please spare me for this once..

Yeah, from the title you basically know what is this about. We had a gathering for a group of Singaporean Girl Guides last year right after SPM if not mistaken. It was fun to make new friends and exchange emails like always. Of course we did some games and songs for them to sing.

Some of the guiders also did a welcome speech and explain the history of guiding on how it all started till today. Quite cool though, I didn't know part of it frankly speaking...... Now I do!! Yipee!!! =.='

Overall it was fun. Managing the PA system alongside with Wen Cai and Xin Mei was cool, the photoslide was hilarious cum embarassing, fooling around with the two MC, Shereen and Alyea was unpredictable and having fun with KL and Singaporean guides was just plain fun.

The pictures shows it all ~~~~~

Wen Cai and I ambush plan on Mei Wern was a big success!!

Myself and The two emcess fooling around...

The game of happy family went well, their favourites among all of em' went from this....

To this......................................................

To this...............................................................

And ended with this......................... (the agony they had to suffer)

Not forgetting the Makarena ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The finally, group photo!!!!!!

Work? or Prison?

2010-02-24T20:32:00.000-08:00

DALAM PENJARA
masa dihabiskan dalam bilik berukuran 8'X10' .

TEMPAT KERJA
masa dihabiskan dalam partition 6'x8'

DALAM PENJARA
dapat makan 3 kali free

TEMPAT KERJA
dapat makan mungkin 1 kali atau 2 kali, itu pun kena bayar sendiri

DALAM PENJARA
dapat time off jika kelakuan baik

TEMPAT KERJA
dapat kerja lebih jika kelakuan baik

DALAM PENJARA
pengawal akan buka dan kunci pintu untuk anda

TEMPAT KERJA
sendiri mesti jaga pintu sendiri, buka dan kunci, khususnya pintu tandas

DALAM PENJARA
boleh menonton TV dan play games

TEMPAT KERJA
awak akan dipecat jika asyik menonton TV dan play games

DALAM PENJARA
kaum keluarga dan sahabat dibenarkan melawat

TEMPAT KERJA
tidak dibenarkan menerima pelawat dan kaum keluarga

DALAM PENJARA
Semua perbelanjaan ditanggung oleh kerajaan tanpa perlu buat kerja

TEMPAT KERJA
semua perbelanjaan kena bayar sendiri, kena kerja untuk dapat duit, bayar cukai untuk diguna oleh banduan dalam penjara

Hummmmmmmm?

Tempat mana lebih baik????

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Watchu waiting for???~~~~~~~

KILL THE MANAGER???!!!!!!

.:+ Last day +:.

2010-02-24T20:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, before this, I was DYING to quit this job and I needed to settle some stuff before I leave for my National Service. (Don't remind me how lucky I got chosen).

And feel so frustrated everytime I had to come to work and type the same letters over and over again. Plus the early hours I had to crack the shell. I thought taking up a job won't be that frustrating but I guess I was wrong. Instead, I feel lonely... T.T

Early this week I was so enthusiatic to just work it off this week, I even had a countdown on my own to the last day. I was so happy as the days gets shorter and I just wanted to get it done and over with.

But today, as I walked into the office, I felt a weird feeling I never thought I would feel, instead, I always thought me feeling that way is somehow near impossible and ridiculous, and yet I fine myself feeling that way...

I feel that I AM gonna miss my work place, the people I socialize with and the work I've been doing. Its only been two months and this place left such a deep impression on me... Weird eh?
And remind you, I dislike coporate buildings and environment ALOT!!

I don't know, maybe is the way my colleague treated me during my duration here. Althought there was a part where I was f*cking pissed about, but we ended up in good terms.. Which is good.. (Besides the jackass)

My colleagues are asking me whether today is my last day, or what is my plans after this, or even, "So what next? Sleep until SPM result come out ar?" =.='
But the most common question would be "So, are you looking forward for NS?"

Seriously????? I don't know..................

Most of my friends who attended came back with numerous answers...

@ "Wahseh!!! Very syok oh!!! You better kena ar next time!!"

@ *cries* I hate NS, very susah, everyday I pengsan, somemore the water dirty, people there very teruk.. "(she came back halfway)

@ "Erm....... no comment... Like that lo, go 3 months come back lo!"

@ "NS ah? NS very good de... Only the water and facilities not good enough lo..."

@ "NS veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery dirty one er!!!! Better bring fu or not kena ah!!"

See???..........

When I ask my parents, on who to refer to regarding NS experience, they would ask me to refer to my friends who have been there. By the look at the replies . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

LISTEN TO WHO???!!!

Anyways, of course I still prefer to hear the positive ones and keep my thinking positive...
and I also decide to go NS la.... Go experience mah... Then at least if got people like me in the future then I can tell them the real answer lo, no need to ask so many people like me... XIAO!

Gotta resume my lasy half day of work... I might come back and work after NS or after Form 6 but I'll decide at that time....

Till Then..

CHERIO!!!!

Gua X Tahan!!!

2010-02-17T17:06:00.000-08:00

I beh tahan that fellow d....

I oledi yan him for so long beh tahan d...

When i first came and work here, this Indian guy have been annoying me till this very moment. Everything her does always makes me pissed off.

Among so many things, the thing that he does that annoyed me the most is the way he type using his keyboard... Keyboard is known as a machinery that helps us write letters and transfer letters and words we wanna insert into a space.

Typing the keyboard you don't need much force, just a slight click, the alphabet appears straight on the screen.. But the way this guy use the keyboard was as if the keyboard was his arch Nemesis. He would type so freakin loudly until the whole department was able to hear what is he typing... He would practically go

PAK-PAK-PAKPAKPAKPAK... (pause for awhile)...PAK-PAK-PAK... PAK!!(Indicate his finale with an enter!)

Come on la..... The keyboard has feelings you know...
Your finger x sakit, the keyboard also sakit la!!!

Another thing is the way he sits. You know those office chairs are able to adjust their height using the level below the chair seat? Dah la he is tall and heavy, when he sits, the chair practically jugs down a little and the look of it makes me feel so sufficating...

Why you ask?????

Because when he sits, his chests is the same level with his office desk.. Doesn't it sound suffocating and neck aching to you? PLus he stacks his desktop on top of the CPU (lying down of course) and he had to look so freakin' high up just to see his typing of documents...

Such a simple adjustment of height could solve the whole thing and yet....... *sigh....

People.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What can I say????

AAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

Today our company is celebrating CNY and all staff are required to wear in festive colours...
That means red,orange, purple, or pink (which is a big no-no for me)...

And you know what that 'guy' wore???
A freakishly DARK BLUE office shirt!!!
Dah la he himself is dark, he wanna wear dark blue shirt somemore...

I feel insulted though seeing him wearing that kind of shirt during this auspicious day...
I respected his culture and i even listen to Indian songs, whereas this guy is not respecting my culture?? You're lucky i ain't permanent here or you're so freakin' busted man!!!

Even the malay guy sitting in front of him is wearing a gorgeous samfu!!!
He's even more cultured than you DONK!!!!
.
.
.
.
Another jackass appeared wearing black this time.. Lagi teruk...
mothe-toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-!!!!!!
*mumbles to self
No bad words during CNY, NO bad words during CNY...

#Note : This is not my CNY post, i beh tahan that guy thats why i blogged to release a portion of my tension.... *peace!

X DDDDDDD

2010-02-12T07:28:00.000-08:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Approaching my 200th post!!!

Excluding this left 4 more posts....
hmmmmm let's see....

First two would b about CNY...

Next two weird happenings in my life....
For the past few days.... that's if there's any...

Cherio for now!!

My class Page in the school magazine.

2010-02-11T07:39:00.001-08:00

~~~~~The faces of 5 Alpha~~~~

~~~~~The Teachers of 5 Alpha~~~~~

~~~~~Biodata of the faces of 5 Alpha~~~~~

~~~~~Biodata of the faces of 5 Alpha~~~~~~

~~~~~~~Memories we had together...~~~~~

Raining at moi WRONG time!!!

2010-02-08T21:03:00.000-08:00

I just finished work and was about to leave to times square... When i walked out of the building, the sight of black dark clouds made me make a decision and OF COURSE i wanted to go back as i was freakin' tired and i wanted to sleep.

So I being a normal person myself, would of course react like what a normal person would react, and that is?

To grab your umbrella and open it la! DUH

As i was searching and ransacking my bag looking for my sadly to say 'Pink' snoopy umbrella, a gift from my mum k? Had to use it to make her happy...

I found out my umbrella was no where to be found... I was going 'where the hell is my umbrella?? Oh shit... STUPID!!!! MY UMBRELLA IS FREAKIN' AT HOME!!!!"

As i was about to rush to the nearest monorail station...

BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Habis I kena drench by the heavy rain.... NO TIMING!!!!! Dah la I was super tired, want to piss me off somemore.

So I went to 7-11 instead and of course i wasn't gonna stay put until the rain stops, *wails

I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!!!!! And guess what i did? I bought a stupid disposable raincoat and wore in 7-11... I wasn't going to spend 10 bucks for another umbrella that i left at home, the raincoat was 8 bucks cheaper than the umbrella..

So looking all ridiculous with the yellow fluorescent raincoat, i rushed myself to the nearest monorail station. Everyone was holding an umbrella and i was the only retard wearing a raincoat..

And no there were no pictures as i was not in the mood for taking pictures and i won't embarass myself on the World Wide Web so don't hope.

As soon as i reached the monorail station, i immediately cabut my raincoat and dumped it in the rubbish bin...... FUR GOOD!!!!!!!

What a good timing for such a heavy rain..... No need to mandi that day, natural water from the sky, save water bill... =P

Heavy Rain at the wrong time makes Maxine a sad sad Maxine...

Year of the tiger... Grrrrrr

2010-02-08T20:52:00.000-08:00

I've been walking alot around bukit bintang area lately and I found out that the shopping complex around BB area started their CNY decoration about a month ago..

And to me, this year's decorations are quite impressing, as though like they are trying to compete with each other to see who stands out the best in Bukit Bintang.

I personally prefer Times Square, Sungai Wang and Pavilion's decorations as this year they really put an effort on decorating the malls.

But I like the rotating tiger head in Sungai Wang... It looks so retarded if you ask me =P

The Whole deco...

The rotating tiger head (It looks like the fur is choking it)

Times Square and Pavilion decorated the malls back to the old days... Times square one was more like a chinese old town and street where they displayed various types of olden time shops but what they were selling in the shops weren't available during the old times.. =P

The stage in Times Square....

The olden shops in the lower ground floor.

They even placed a direction board at the side of the road. Instead of this way to china, or this way to beijing, it was written...

It looks funny how they combine the olden atmosphere and the modern days shop... hahaha.

Pavilion Is more tradisional i'd say. It is more cultured in the way that they sell chinese knots, chinese painting, chinese instrument (planning to buy one), chinese art and all sort of chinese stuff.. Instead of crocs or S & J.. no offence..

Do ignore the foreign lady trying to pose for the camera...

Anyway it was nice la to say.... All the malls did their part and they decorated it according to the theme.. Maybe other people have other opinion.. This is just mine..

And oh.. Lot 10's deco, although is simple, but i like the center piece and no i don't mean the hugeass red shoe in the middle of the concierge. I mean the dangling red deco on the ceiling, it has many chinese sir names written on it and until now i still can't find mine..

Try going there one day, and go try and find yours... =P

Work

2010-02-08T06:03:00.000-08:00

Work.....

IS TERRORIZING!!!!!!!

I had to practically face so many freakin' PINK files everyday and the contents?

Is either We're being sued or our Solicitors sue the other party... Sometimes the more you read it the more you get confused...

Plus you tend to get sleepy everynow and then especially after lunch where digestion occurs....

SNORES.... ZZzzzzzZZZzzzZZzZzZZZZZ......

That's why i longed for weekends/Holidays so much.. The longer the better..

Sometime the files can stack as high as my working table, and at times when i reached the office in the morning, the sight of my table covered with files really makes me think "*sigh..... another day, another 40 + 40 files = 80 files perday!!

Don't get me wrong here though, I ain't complaining, is just that since i started working, there is no excitement anymore. You tend to be like a robot, where you sit in front of the computer all day and type letters and key in data..

Alright alright, ii'm 50/50 complaining k?! At least i get paid by the end of the month... =DDD

And you repeat the same thing over and over and over again 5 days a week...

Where did all the excitement go???

Plus I bet my eye sight is gonna be worse by month end.. When you have to face a computer this near everyday, you won't doubt yourself in getting an eye check every week... =P

I know I'm being over dramatic and overeacting but still, you can't blame me, when the computer is THIS near to you..

And another weird thing..... They actually give every staff two rolls of toilet rolls every month. When i first started i was surprised when i was 'presented' by the toilet rolls.. Then later on I found out that it was to prevent toilet paper wastage in the toilet.. =.=....

I haven't even finished my January 'rolls' =p

Oh ya that's my cup in front of the computer, was trying to avoid sleepiness with milo kosong...

Pfffftttt...

As if that would help... and it didn't...

Chao!

Memories.....

2010-02-07T20:15:00.000-08:00

It was last week i think, i had to accompany my mum to buy some stuff at the Pudu Wet Market.
After walking half way, she asked me to stay put at one area as the inner part of the market is very wet and stinky...

She didn't want me to get 'contaminated' i think =P

Anyway....

While i was staying put nearby a stall selling korean instant noodles..
(With a Weird colour and packing i'd say),
A stall caught my attention as it brought back memories to me..

Nowadays when we need raw chicken, we'd go to the supermarket or the market nearby our housing area and they have all those ready packed, peeled, feathered, and even seasoned raw chicken for you, all you have to do is dump it in a hot pot and done.

Whereas, the stall that caught my attention was selling live chicken, that are still
squawking for their lives.

I remembered this sight used to be common in my early days where housewives would bring their kids to the market and do their daily shopping. Well, that what my mum did last time,
especially when we're in our hometown.

I would always stop by at the chicken stall and look how each chicken react when i slip my fingers into the cage.. Injuries were definite to my fingers but it was fun. =P

My late grandfather & grandmother did also rared chicken at the back of his wooden coffee shop. Everytime when we visit him, after having a heartfill meal, we'd have a treat of either ice-cream, or soft drinks. By the way, soft drinks back then are in glass bottles and contains less sugar and less gas..

After relaxing for a bit, my grandma would bring my to the back and i would watch her feed the chickens with grains and leftover foods. If I'm lucky, I would get to see black chickens instead of the normal ones.

Before Chinese New Year every year, my grandma would fatten up the chicken of her choice, and cook it for us to celebrate our safe arrival... The food on the table then, It was much more savouring then the ones we eat in Chinese Restaurants i tell you. The meals back then are still the best!

As I thought back to the early days, i told myself that this sights are rare nowadays, especially in a developing city like KL. Its good to actually that some people still keep the tradition, so maybe some day the younger generations would know how a real market looks and sounds like during the old days.

So far i know, I still prefer the old days where everything was so peaceful and full of squawk..
hahah.

24 Hours....

2010-02-02T18:21:00.000-08:00

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

24 hours is DEFINITELY NOT enough for moi!!!!

I know i know what you're thinking...

That i'm a pussy, a wus that i can't handle my stuff in 24 hours...
But my work occupies most of my time~~~
I can't even find time to blog ...

Even now i'm sneaking some time of my own to blog....
T.T

By the time i get back home i'd be worn out and i
would just slump on my bed and snore away....

And yes sometimes I DON'T bath when i'm to exhausted..

I should imply that i'm tired of staring the computer for whole
8 freaking hours, everyday, 5 days per week...

That I couldn't bare to face another few more moments
blogging at home....

Oh gawd...

I gotta go have my eyesight checked..
I might go blind soon..

Anyway.. i really have loads to blog this time so you'll see..
I won't blog a long post i'll do it in several posts
under different topics, but i'll finish it by this week...

Guides honor!!! *wink

Ok gotta go
Boss eying on me d =P
tata

Weekends!!!!

2010-01-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

IT FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

THAT MEANS NO WORK FOR THE
NEXT TWO DAYS!!!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I begun to cherish weekends more now
that i started working.

Facing the computer for the whole day is
definitely no joke!!

I won't be surprise if my spectacle
power would rise up to 950 by the
end of the month...

Oh well, the thought of me getting
paid at the end motivates me..

and OH!!!!

I finally found a way to motivate me
into losing 10KG!!!!
(Hopefully in a faster rate!!)

YEAY!!!!

Looking forword to a new me.....

*Dreams~~~~

Nurses in Hospital

2010-01-10T05:48:00.000-08:00

Ya know..

This morning i went to
a Medical Centre
to visit one of my relatives.

Let's just say that my relative
is not very flexible when it comes
to moving.

And he's undergoing psysiotherapy
to gain back his strength. I'm glad to
say that he's going fine...

He related an incident to me
that everytime when is time
for his psysiotherapy session, he would
have a difficult time to get off the bed.

So here is where help comes...

But when he told me that he needed
FOUR nurses to lift him, i was shocked!

I mean he wasn't that fat,
plus his BMI was normal..

Then i did a little observation.

I got a little bored and went roaming
around the hospital...

And you know what?

ALL and i mean A.L.L
the nurses are damn bloody skinny..
The legs are seriously like
we chinese like to call...

"Chicken Feet"

That explains the
'My relative is super heavy'
incident...

Man!

Not to say that skinny
nurses are not strong...

The thing is, if you're a nurse,
or dedicated to be one,

You have to make sure you're
up and fit enough to help the
patient.

What if other nurses are busy,
you're alone and you need to get
a person down from the bed?

Don't tell me you'll ask help from
a security guard or the family's
relatives??

I'm not trying to say that all nurses
have to be super strong,

My point is nurses should be fit
enough to lift a patient down from
the bed..

And not need four nurses to attend
one patient. Is just not right.

Two is already more then enough.

Medical health care people should
know what's right and what's wrong.
Every individual should know that
you yourself have to be fit in order to
attend another sick patient...

Isn't that the first thing they teach
in medical school??

Even it isn't
Its still common sense right?

Medical Healthcare Institutes
should make sure that all their
graduates are fit and strong
enough to proceed to their daily post.

Not only to diagnoss or to administer
medicine into patient. They also need
to be strong physically to help patients
up and down..

This is just my opinion....

Which i think will make a big
change in the community as well
as the medical healthcare line if improved.

*winks!

First day of work and New Year countdown...

2010-01-03T07:05:00.000-08:00

I know is a bit too late for this topic...
Lazy what..

What to do??

Anyway....
Well, first day of work was interesting...

I was FREAKIN' LATE for work...

ON THE FIRST DAY!!!

How pathetic was that....

But what can I do? The car broke down

by the time we changed our car,

the highway was bloody jam..

It wouldn't budge even an inch..

Till we found out why...

The road was blocked for the night's

countdown...
Imagine... 6 roads cut down to 2 roads..

OF COURSE JAM LA~~~

See what i mean???

Neways, when i went into the office,

they asked my to fill a form...

And so i did...

By the time i flip to the last page...

they requested me to write an

essay...

I came here to work, not for an english

test wey~~~

But still.... Being a good applicant..

I ignore the fact that i'm applying for

a temp. position and wrote the essay...

B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.L.Y

And glad to say i'm proud of it....

Weeeeeeeeeee

Anyway... First day of the job was

not to say fun... but it was

ok ok la...

Started off with filing.. as usual..

Had to go photostat several documents

When i said several it was like lets say.

20 Files?

And inside 20 files at least 10 Doc.

to photocopy...

I had to walk alot that day as the

photocopy room is the other side

from my table...

Good la.. at least burn more calories

mah... This should go to the papers

Health section..

Burning calories during work

by Aw Maxine.. heh

Of course.. the lil' old me had the

time to camwhore in the office..

It wasn't fun ok.. It was risky...

still I manage to camwhore

.
.

successfully.. Which i'm proud to say.. heh

Spent New Year Eve and New year in

Shereen's aunt's place..

It was 'chun' to say!!

Piccies!!

Never Seen THAT many files in my life....

@.@

I know I know~~~ My blouse looks

like one of your bio teacher's outfit....

A little recording of info and filing

new documents...

Fish feeding at the Desa Parkcity lake..

Vivian grinning... Her Uncle at the back~~

Just before the fireworks...

We camwhore to spend time... hehe

Presenting the Choong sisters~~

A group photo of all who came that night~

SPIKY!!!!! I miss that fella

SOOOOOO much~~~ *whimpers

At a farewell BBQ for Mei Yun

(I hope i didn't rmb wrongly) and family

migration to Aussie.. Good luck!!

Vivian comparing hers and her aunt's beef

chop and still not satisfied...

Notice the grin on her aunt's face?? hehe

Writing New Year wishes in Vivian's

New Year diary...

Went for an EARLY morning walk at

Desa Parkcity.. I made Shereen pinky swear

to go for the walk with me...

Guess what??

SHE MADE IT!!!!!

I had to drag her....

When i say drag means literally

drag her out of the bed...

Thank god she's light.... phew!

Try to make a comparison between

Shereen before the walk and

Shereen after the walk...

This is her before....

and.........

AFTER!!!!!!

A sceneric view where Shereen's uncle

suggested it would make a nice photo...

And it turns out he was right!!

Shereen and I 'hanging' out at the playground

monkey bar while her uncle take shots of us

fooling around~~~ tq!!!

I walked up and down hill with this pasar

malam edition croc shoes..

AND MY FEET SURVIVED!!!!

A BIG BIG KISS to shereen for fulfilling

her promise to me...

(Just so you know, she doesn't know

i'm doing the kissy face)

I also would like to give a BIG BIG KISS

to everyone who invited me to their new

year countdown party and stayover...

* 90 degree bow

ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!!

Depressed

2009-12-26T03:59:00.000-08:00

I always told myself that no matter
what happens in life, I always am able
to make the best out of it and try
not to fail miserably....

Till one day, i confessed to myself~~

That i wasn't able to live up to myself...

Kyle was rewarded today for his
miraculous results in his SPM....

I was a happy and slightly upset
over the results...

A sudden failure came to me, it felt
as i wasn't able to fulfill my parent's
wishes, and for me being the eldest,
i couldn't make my parents proud.

I did cry for a day, which made me
re-think about this issue..

Unfortunately. dad caught me being
upset and tried to console and cheer
me up..

It didn't really work for that particular
day as my spirit and my motivation
was really down and negative...

I admit that i ruined my parent's
mood that night.. But i was too
self-centered and i couldn't care less...

I just couldn't stop being upset and
mad over myself. I was just a piece of
junk staying in the back of the house...

I needed time to heal myself...
to stand up and face the challenge..
and i did the next day..

Things were better and i was more
open minded...

Kyle has a 'habit'...
When dad buys him something, he
would promise all sorts and then
once he got hold of his things..
He would turn back into his old self
with just a snap...

Wait no!

Which just a blink of an eye...
A half quarter of a second....

Last time, the first time he promised
i had full confidence in him....

After several occasions...

He would always fail to convince me
and i would end up thinking
"The time he turn over a new leaf,
i would have grandkids and my grandkids
would have grandkids = NEVER in my life!"

That shows how much confidence i have
towards him...

Well, as usual, he treated me like
shit as soon as he got hold of his item...
And of course swear words are not excluded..

This sort of things became a daily basis..
everynight i have to console myself to avoid
breakdown..

I learn to give in more frequent then to
recieve more often. I learn to hold in my
tantrums than to be a brat.

I learn to accept people that i despise than
show a ugly face to them in person. I also learn
to be humple to people i dislike than to hate
them at their back.

But with no doubts, i also do have times
that i needed throw my tantrums to
show what i am feeling...

I am an human being, not a robot, and
of course i do have feelings... And there were
times where i can no longer bare and have
to let go...

The space in me is limited and when the time
i feel full and out-angered, i need to release my
tantrums in order to create new space for other
tantrums..

I am trying my very best now to live life at it is..
Even though Klye is stubborn, stuck up, snobby
and disgustingly annoying, he is not worth my
time to get angry and pissed off with

He is also not worth my tears and time of me
being upset just because of him.

But there is one thing that i promised myself..
No matter how we turned out, there is
always space in my heart for forgiveness.

When the time is right, when miracle surfaced
my life, when Klye really does turn over a new
leaf.. I am ready to forgive him no matter where
and when it is...

To forgive someone,
Is to forgive yourself;
To hate someone,
Is also to hate yourself;

So why not learn to forgive and
be humble to everyone on earth,

Even to those that you hate
or dislike, for one day,
they might need your help
and they might treasure you for who
you are....

I am learning to forgive,
hoping that a burden can be lifted,
And the tantrums in me,
might just be able to lessen,
day by day.....

Congrats ppl!!!

2009-12-25T05:59:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to all who got
flying colours in their PMR results!!

You all got what you deserve after
what you all have been through...

WIshing all peeps a Merry CHristmas
and good luck in everything in the year..

2010~~~

No brain movement~~

2009-12-24T01:40:00.000-08:00

Nothing giving me the
enthusiasm to blog~~~

T.T

Heartbroken...

Stupid people!!

2009-12-18T07:12:00.000-08:00

Ok,
When I mention
H-O-S-P-I-T-A-L

.............

What comes through your mind?

White?
Nurses?
Doctors?
Needles?
Quiet?
Peace?
Calm?

People with BRAINS and know
how to use EM' ,
THIS vocabulary will come across
their minds..

But people with brains but have
NO idea how to use em

THIS vocab runs through their minds.

Noisy,
Coffee shop,
Samseng,
Wedding dinner,
Banyak Mulut,
and
DIM SUM!!

What connection you ask these
few words have with them??

Well, let ME 'splain

You see, i went to Subang
Medical centre today to visit one
of my relatives

And of course i expect a hospital
to be quiet and peaceful..
Well that was what i felt when
i was in the lobby...

Everything was fine on the way to
the fourth floor...

Went we reached my relative's ward..

B-A-M!!!!!!!

There goes the coffee shop right
opposite the ward. There were this
group of old people, talking so damn
loudly, just like those old folks in the
coffee shop....

And you know how they dress? They
were dress as if they were going
for a wedding dinner.. With FULL
make up as well.... O.o

Plus they were laughing and talking
so freakin' loudly as if the patient
inside their ward had just gave birth
to a new baby..

For a moment there i thought
"Are we in the right ward?"
Then i overheard the patient is
going to undergo an operation the
next day....

Then again i thought, why are they
laughing and talking if the patient is
going for an operation the next day?

Is it a happy occasion for them?

Or what?

But still rules are rules

You can't talk and laugh in the
hospital like you do in the
coffee shop or your peeps

You might be happy but other
patients need rest and other people
might be depressed over their love
ones...

You're not the only one in the
hospital k.

But if that's you're own private ward
and you are not disturbing other
patients, I don't bloody care!!

But too bad is NOT your private
ward so PLEASE respect other
patients and the hospital rules please

Even an idiot knows that

There's a catogory for these kind of
people...

S-T-U-P-I-D

Yipeeeeee!!!

2009-12-09T04:58:00.000-08:00

Am going to my first after SPM camp

tomorrow....

^^

......... Speechless~~~

YEEPIE!!!!!!!

2009-12-08T03:53:00.000-08:00

Haahahahahaha

TOO HAPPY

CAN'T DESCRIBE

NEED TO JUMP!!!!

SHORT POST

NEED TO GET HYPER!!

BYEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Confuse...

2009-12-03T22:55:00.000-08:00

I have a massive mixture of feelings today...

I tend to feel

* Mad
* Sad
* Happy
* Distructive
* Annoyed
* Tearful
* Curious
* All stuck in
* Sufficating
* No freedom...

WHAT AM I
SUPPOSE TO FEEL??

Down to " The great 1"

2009-12-03T04:07:00.000-08:00

Phew~~~ Physics is finally OVER!
The toughest subject among the 3
science subject.. YIPPEE!!!
So now is down to the final paper...

C.H.E.M.I.S.T.R.Y

You know... When i was studying
physics the other day, the NS issue
came to my mind.

I was so caught up on me not getting
in the first batch till i became so
annoyed about it.

I even kept bugging my parents to change
my batch for me.. I was SO ready to face
NS and i wanted to go for the first batch
so badly... And this result actually
gave me a breakdown..

Imagine that! A stupid issue giving me
a breakdown.. What a wuss!

But the more i think about it, the more
i was able to accept me attending the
second batch..

And... the more i was excited to attend NS.
Although the letter of transfer was sent in,
no matter what the outcome is, i still will
remain the determination to attend NS..

AS LONG AS ITS NOT
THE 3RD BATCH!!!!

I am really looking forward to attending NS.
I mean what harm could do me?
I get to socialize more, meet more friends
(Although i heard most of the girls there
are 'xiu jie' material)

But at least i get to open my eyes to
different varities of people...

But importantly...
My main reason to go there is to
stay fit, increase my stamina...
and LOOSE WEIGHT!!!

I HAVE TO!!!!

MUST!
MUST!!!!!

Anyway.... Last paper people.. so

BOOYAH!!!!

Day off....

2009-12-01T06:41:00.000-08:00

After a tiring day of memorizing
and not coming out a single thing!!

I had a day off today...

(unexpectedly)

I woke up this morning...

(it was freakin' 8 in the morning)

I kept reminding myself to study

for physics as is this thursday...

In my mind was.

"study physics.....

study physics.....

study physics...."

But i had to go to the ministry of

defence first to get the application for

changing Batch in NS...

Was very dissapointed that i didn't get

first batch...

Went there with my letters...

(Got some handbooks as well)
(The receptionist was really friendly)

Was done in a few minutes and we

hoped back to the car.

Was going to snooze off in the car then

mum wanted to go to wangsa walk..

So i thought "cool, plus can get my

christmas shopping done!"

So yeah~~ My christmas shopping for

my christmas outing!!

And a packet of candy canes to match

with the seasonal occasion~ yeay~~

Can't wait for christmas this year cause

this is the only year where i can enjoy

christmas and NOT worry about school

next year...

BWAHAHAHAHA

Last 2 subject people!!!

YIPPEE YAHHH!!!

Down to 2

2009-11-30T03:00:00.000-08:00

Ok people...
I'm seriously tired right now...
So a short post...

Just finish biology...
All the things that i memorize...
NOT EVEN ONE
CAME OUT!!!!

Geesh!

Anyway...
Good news is...
down to 2 more subjects left...

Physics this thursday....

A.N.D............

CHEMISTRY!!!
next tuesday...

So people.. prepare to
SHOUT IT OUT
FOR ME!!!!

WHOOOHOOOO!!!!!!

Last few papers~~~~

2009-11-26T06:34:00.001-08:00

Last three subjects left!!!!

Add oil!
Add oil!!
Add oil!!!!

Since the stinkin' sejarah
and Add maths has pass...

Seriously i felt a great burden
had liften off my shoulder...

Yeay!!
After this is
HALLELUYAH
for me!!

BOOYAHH
PPL!!!!

Late night post~~~

2009-11-22T08:43:00.000-08:00

Must be wondering why am I
still blogging in the middle of
the night...

Not to mention i'm having a
maths test tomorrow??!!

HAHA

I'm wondering that myself...

I just finish memorizing my
moral values...
(Makes me more 'bermoral')

And now i'm doing some maths
questions...

And to tell you the truth....
I did not study for the whole day..

I actually just finished learning
half a dance.. Is actually a korean
group dance call girl generation
(You can't stop loveing em')

And my asthma is attacking me
again...

HOW COULD YOU??!!!

Among so many days you chose
TODAY???!!!!!

GAHHHHHHHHH

*Breaths in and out...

Ta~ ta~

Day 2 & 3

2009-11-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

BM - Done!!
B1 - Done!!!!!
Sejarah - DONE!!!! WHOHOOO!!!
Maths
Add.Maths
Biology
Chemistry
Physics
Moral
EST - Done!!!

Day 2 & 3...

COMPLETO!!!!!!!

Day 1

2009-11-18T03:01:00.001-08:00

OK.....

1st day of SPM is actually
quite nerve wrecking...

The first paper was
BM 1 where candidates are
required to write 2 essays...

I was practically shaking
before i even went in..

It was the first time i felt
so nervous for an exam...

I didn't even bulge for
UPSR and PMR...

But still, the good thing is
i can cut off the first subject
on my list... ^^
yeay~~~

BM - Done!!
B1
Sej
Maths
Add.M
Bio
Cheme
Phy
Moral
EST

Day 1 - COMPLETE!!!!

Here it is~~~

2009-11-16T01:35:00.000-08:00

Well.....

SPM is this wednesday...

This is it.....

My final push for my school years..

yeay~~~~

GANBATTE KUDASAI!!!

(Back to bani abbasiyah)

Last day........

2009-11-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

Finally.....

The day i've been waiting for
in my whole teenage life.......

The LAST day of school...

has

FINALLY came!!!

All the waiting, the studying,
the suffering, the torturing ENDS
here!!!

The feeling during
PMR is in me again...

When they opened the hall...

When we arranged the tables...

When the examination slips are
passed....

I felt immediate fear....

GAHHHHHH

And kinda sad too when we
went round salam'ing' to the
teachers.....

It was quite funny actually to say..
Not a sad scene at all...

We were practically going round
the staff room...

Shaking hands with em' and
bobbing out heads for as long as
their 'speech' goes....

That explains my sore neck..
*crack!

Ahhh Much better....

Anyway..... The last day of school
has finally came...

It means more responsibility,
more mature thinking, and more
realible person to be...

And of course more freedom and
time for me to HIT the road...
heheheheheh

But still SPM is coming..
and i still have to work hard for it...

No fooling around, no playing around,
no dilly daily and no more jokes..

I WILL miss some of the teachers and
the surroundings of my school...

I will also definitely miss waking up
every morning and hear babbling
noises each day...

Awaiting the last bell to ring and ready
for the front gate dash...

It'll take awhile to get used to it
though....

*sniff

Bye~~~~~~

Y.Ylll

2009-11-07T06:36:00.001-08:00

You know what,

I'm tired,
I'm really really tired...

I have no idea what i'm up to
I have no idea what should I do
I have no idea what the hell
should i be thinking right now..

GAHHHHHH

Can someone actually HELP me!!?

But i'm sure for one thing... hehehe
After SPM i gonna try to go for THIS!

See how bloody SLIM they are...
Hope the 'NS' will be able to help me~~

T.T 3 months of torture..
Here i come..

Right after SPM of course!

Graduation day

2009-10-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

Finally, my graduation ceremony

takes place..

It was held in concorde hotel...

So here are the pics!

With the flower bouquet...

She's actually shorter than me

(Just to let you know =P)

Whole class with the backdrop....

With our form teacher...

(She manyak bagi 'ong')

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our robes~~~ Nightmare......

(no la...)

Hope this will appear more often

during our SPM examination!

'Robe'ing around... Was hot =P

And STILL.... i'm the shortest...

Desperately waiting....

2009-10-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am currently in THIS position..

And still desperately waiting for

THIS postition...

I'd be worst then THIS if

SPM is really over....

*sigh*

P.S I really DO love food...

Tagged by dear dear dear dear Charis.....

2009-10-17T01:52:00.000-07:00

Pass this tag to ten people:
1. Shereen Choong
2. Vivian Choong
3. Alyea Kak Yaya
4. Xin Mei
5. Michiko
6. Chelsea
7. Miki
8. Yan Leng
9. Yan Yee
10. You!!

1.Would you date number 5?
Why not?? We would make a great couple

2.Number 2 just got in a car crash.How do you react?
And YOU said i was GONNA speed... hehehe

3.You see number 9 with your boy/girlfriend.
She's way across the globe.. No way i'm gonna see her here..

4.You come home and your room has been ransacked number 4.
Not surprise.. She even ransack my bags in HQ...

5.Number 1 is acting weird.
Either she 'ter'ate yogurt or she's having her monthly thing

6. Numbers 3 and 8 decided to give 10 a haircut
I guess that unlucky person is gonna bear with a wig.. =P

7.Number 7 just got tickets for him/her and you to go to a concert..
I doubt it.. Even if she does have tickets it'll be for Michiko and chelsea..

8.Number 10 takes you to a bar.
Oh cool!!! Lets go babeh!!

9.Number 4 has to move to the other side of the world.
Bring me back a polar bear!!!

10.You and number 8 are being chased by the cops for an unknown reason.
For her teaching me to drive... Sorry yan leng...

11.Number 7 and you are sitting on the couch watching a movie when he/her wrap his/her arm around you.
NO WAY She's EVER doing that...

12.Number 5 asks you out to dinner.
As long she's paying I have no problem with the leftovers..

13. Number 9 and you are sitting on a bus.
Self plan trip??

14.Number 6 calls you in the middle of the night because he/she can't sleep.
Go talk to your sis...I ain picking that up!!

15.Your walking with someone and number 6 runs up and tackles you to the ground from behind.
I won't be the one falling =P I'm too heavy for her

16.Number 1 is crying one day and you ask him/her why and it seems their boy/girlfriend has dumped them.
I will be shock to hear that she has a BF in the first place

17.Number 2 offers to bake you a meal.As you sit in the other room,the kitchen is suddenly aflame.
hehehehe..... I don't think that will happen.. Mrs yeow 'left hand woman' is her nickname!!

18.Number 5 comes to your door one day holding a koala.
A nice timing too as she juz came back from aussie...

19.Number 3 just got you an X-Box
Oh cool... but i bet all the games are gonna be football games.. Ultimate chelsea fan..(alyea.. am i rite??)

20.Number 9 challenges you to a children's card game.
Which one will it be? UNO, family, Donkeys?? hehe

21.Number 1 thinks she's overweight.
She will NEVER think bout that issue..

22.Number 7 looks lonely.
NEVER!!!!

23.Number 2 asks you rudely to go leave her alone.
..... Shereen, what's up with your sis??

24.Numbers 5 and 3 decide to throw a surprise perty for you.
I don't think they even knew each other....

25.Number 6 decide to dye her hair black.What do you say?
She's gonna dye it brown.. I swear to you!!

26.Number 2 tells you she is going to go out for a while,and then later you hear about a shooting where 2 went.
eh?!?

27.You catch number 9 by herself crying.
She will Never cry.. She's our SUPER jie jie!!

28.Numbers 1,3,5 and 6 all tackle you at once!
They have to know each other first and be at the same place at once.. heheh

I'm done!! WHOOHOOO

先苦后甜

2009-10-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

Direct English translation for my blog
title is suffer first, enjoy later....

Today is tuesday, also
the last day of PMR....

I recalled how I acted during the
last day of PMR..

And now, i'm imagining my
last day of SPM...

Makes me so sad to think that
UPSR and PMR people are done
with their 'major' exam
while SPM and STPM people
are still stuck...

><

NOT FAIR!!!!!

But as my blog title says,
suffer first, enjoy later...

Good new for UPSR and PMR
people are...

You get your freedom now

Bad news??

You still have to attend school
for a whole year next year..
H-A-H-A

As for SPM and STPM people...

We WILL suffer for now,
you can laugh all you want...

But next year, when you're stuck
in school being miserable...

WE WILL be enjoying
oursleves BEYOND limits....

WAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAAHAH

O.K. back to studying....

T.T

Ngo yan
Ngo yan
Ngo YAN YAN YAN!!!

Exam period... O.O

2009-10-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

Weeeeeeeeee~~~~

Sound weird??

heheh

Its just the joy of myself

being able to study at last...

Got myself into the study

mode these few days...

No more TV, and online games

concentrate on SPM...

*phew..

Thats a tough commitment to

commit to..

GANBATTE KUDASAI BAH!!!

Happy Mid Autumn~~~

2009-10-03T05:43:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning,

By a call from dad from the frontyard,

Asking me to open the door,

For he forgot to bring the keys;

As i wash myself up,

I remembered today was Mid Autumn,

I didn't have any plans on hand,

But to accompany my family,

On this yearly chinese event;

I studied and watch TV,

Till i realized it was 5 o'clock,

We decided to go for dinner,

At the back lane foodcourt;

As i stepped out of the house,

I heard digital songs along the street,

Its a small word, doremon, london bridge,

Seem to fill my head;

Improved science and technology,

Filled the world with gadgets of all kinds,

Even our traditional paper lanterns,

Are replaced with battery charge lanterns,

Decorated with light bulb, digital sounds

and cartoon figure of all kinds;

Although science and technology,

Replaced things with conveniece,

We still have old tradition,

Living among us,

And we shall never let it fade away.

Happy Mid Autumn Everyone!!

(Don't mind the poem if it sounds

kinky or weird...)

i HATE you~~~~~

2009-10-03T05:32:00.001-07:00

This blog contains vulgar words.
Readers discrimination is advisable

You freakkin' mothefucker!!!!
Away with you and your motherfucking
attitude.

If you're not bloody pleased
with what we do for you then get the
HELL out of our place and don't mess
with OUR happiness and life.

I'm telling ya, our house is MUCH
MORE peaceful without your FUCKIN'
ASSHOLE in the house...

You think you suffered for the whole
day is a BIG DEAL??!! Well its NOT!

We picked you up to go for dinner
and YET you CAN'T EVEN PICK a
STINKIN' place for dinner...

YOU'RE WEAK AND FRAGILE!!!!
CAN'T THINK ANYMORE AFTER
SEMINAR?? THEN DON'T GO!!!!
~~WASTE OF PRECIOUS TIME AND~~
~~MONEY!!~~

You fuckin' bastard... AWAY WITH
YOU. You never appreciate whatever
we done for you and thinks the
whole world owes you everything....

Why don't you try making a living
by yourself WITHOUT us.. SMARTASS
That is if you EVEN have the
COURAGE to do so... COWARD!!!!

One more last thing..
YOU ARE NOT FUCKIN'
HANDSOME...
You're are as UGLY as a bitch
even people can't DIFFERENTIATE
YOU TWO....

Waste money on rebonding...
WHAT A GIRL!!!!!

Final gathering before SPM

2009-10-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

I'm actually having a difficult time

typing right now....

I have a boo-boo on my finger.....

T.T

Anyway, my class had a final gathering

before our 'BIG' day...

I know what are you guys thinking.....

"dah la everyday meet, apasal nak

gathering..."

But kenalah have fun before that

moment of peer pressure and tension..

So, we planned a BBQ cum steamboat

at Ji Yan's place......

IT WAS A BLAST!!!!

(ended up smelling like grilled chicken

all the way back home)

Our menu was.... :-)

*drumroll

# Grilled chicken (a must)

# Potato

# Tom yam and chicken soup

# fish ball, fish paste

# Fu Cok

# Seafood Taufu

# Noodles

# Salad

AND for DESSERT~~~~~

# BBQ MARSHMALLOWS!!!!!!

# Jelly

# Watemelon (self-service)

# And...... orange juice

We had a lot of fun, especially

when starting the fire....

They had me and Ji Yan's dad

in charge of it, but i have to admit

that i had difficulties starting it....

Was not used to it since I usually

start of with wood then charcoal

instead of starting with charcoal

straight away....

Our chicken wings!!!!

GROUP PHOTO!!!

Shi Mun look so cutee~~

(The one on the left)

Mmmmmmm Its finger lickin' GOOD!

And my personal favourite.....

WHY YOU ASK??!!!

COZ~~~ it makes me looks like

i have good lungs power......

Benefits of Handphones

2009-09-20T02:17:00.000-07:00

Benefits of handphones :-)

*Able to communicate with ppl
*Get latest news
*Get in touch with ppl
*Get hold of ppl easily

And most important....

*To call people during an
emergency or to find people when
you or them are lost...

So why do people need a
handphone in the first place
when you

DON'T FREAKIN'
ANSWER THE PHONE
WHEN I CALL???????

GRRRRRRRR

I Hate people who don't
pick up their phone when others
are like in a rush to contach them

Don't tell me you don't feel the
vibration on your thighs or your
butt when it rings?!

Freedom of life

Celebrating my completion of d trials....

2009-09-17T03:40:00.000-07:00

*thinking to myself

Ok.. Last question..

Focus!

Oh shoot! 10 mins left..

Ok Ok..

Relax Relax...

Think think....

*Do my calculation

YES!!! Done!!

TIMESSSSS UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!

WHEEEEE!!!!! Last paper for
my stinkin' trials.... And there

I am officiating my Raya holidays

starting today!!!!

WAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*Ignore the mentally after

exam retarted me.........

A....nyway........

to celebrate me trials being

long gone... My mum and I went

to the loaf in pavillion for members

day... 50% for all items... Cool huh?

The best thing is...

ITS ALL

FOOOOOODDDD!!!!!

Hehe... paradise for Maxine..

Bought a bunch of breads and

pastries... Mmmm

Gonna enjoy em' later....

Headed upstairs for breakfast..

Both of us ate spaggeti...

Mine is "i forgot wats its name"

And mum's is "Tabikko something"

Look at the fish roe... Mmmm

Big, orangy, sweet and juicy...

We ate till we bloated...

Went round pavillion for a walk

then came back for lunch... hehe

This time i had the

"Tabikko something"

And mum had....

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaamb

Ended muah day with a very

bloated and round stomach...

Mmmmmmmmmm

(Actually... The couch that I'm sitting

on is too low, Found out when the bowl

was served and my chin was resting on

the bowl itself... heheh

This means Aw Maxine is too short and

needs more basketball)

Can we do this sometime again?!

Freedom of life

Happy times....

2009-09-10T07:53:00.001-07:00

Group picture before leaving.....

Doing 'Qi Gong' for exercise.......

Ji yan and myself shopping......

Ming Qi and myself......

The 5 Princess.........