No certainties

Is there even such a word???
Anyway... I'm having one of those mixed up emotions again.

I don't know why I have these feelings often and definitely is not PMS.

Usually when I do have these kind of feelings, I have alot of things on my mind. Sort of like a katrina in my brain to be exact. And I usually stay quiet at that moment cause if someone was to interrupt, I do the unthinkable.... (can imagine??)

Well, we'll skip that at the moment. There has been an issue that I've always been annoyed about......

You know when people cross the road... Ok, lets make it a busy road..
A normal person would look left and right before running across the road right?
I notice nowadays that people tend to just walk across the road before even looking both sides...

That I don't mind, that's your life, not mine; If you get killed It ain't my business, but people tend to walk as if that was their grandfather's road.. I mean...

H-A-L-L-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-!!!!!! WAKE UP DUDE!!!
ITS A FREAKIN' ROAD, IT AIN'T YOUR GRANDAD'S!!!!

If your crossing the road alone then fine, you die, die la, but
I'M FREAKIN' RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!! CAN YOU WALK FASTER???
I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIEEEE!!!!!!

Geesh!! Especially thoses teenagers who are 'dating'...
you know, those who loves to hold hands, wave it up and down,
doodle around, and say 'i love u' non-stop.....

Is a freakin' road!!!! Don't you people learn common safety procedures?
And you call yourself educated people...

Is like civilization all over again.....
*Slaps forehead*

Go back to school and educate yourself again...
Simple safety procedures also cannot follow..
No wonder so many people kena langgar la...

Blame who?
YOURSELF LA IDIOT!!

PLKN 2nd Reunion

Alright, we're suppose to have a PLKN gathering today involving the whole Alpha company including boys and girls.... Instead, out of 100, only 7 people turned up...

5 boys and 2 girls... Don't that sound sad to you?? Depressing maybe??

YOU DO???????

GOOD!! Because it IS DEPRESSING!!!!!!!

Out of 100 a freakin' 7 turned up?? Where are all the buayaks?? Plus there are only 5 authentic buayaks there, the others are from other company. Other company lagi semangat then our own buayak to go for the reunion... Like WTH??

Anyway.... Since they said the gathering was 1pm (I thought so) so I kinda rushed to times square and reached there around 1.20pm.... then i called Gwen and she was only on the way....

So i lepak-ed around times square and ended up eating lunch in KFC.... booming gendang d my stomach... hehhe....

Gwen turned up at 3 sumthing whereas PA-8 and the gang turned up at 4pm.... SO much of starting the gathering at 1/2pm....

Instead of a gathering, since the numbers was so small, we practically walked alot today. From Times sqaure, we walked to sungai wang, then to pavilion, found out there was nothing to do there, walked back to times square and ended up in a KTV centre. (Which is quite famous for drug addicts and police raids)...

Didn't dare to sing a single song since boys were there.... scary neh....

Its been years since I last sang in front of boys (Besides my dad and bro, they love to shut me up whenever I start to sing... T.T)

And I left them at around 7 ....... to go CLUBBING .....

It was like eons ago since I last when clubbing... but this club is more like a proper club. Few prostitutes and more alcoholic drinks... lovesss....

Back home at 9pm, and had a slight dance session by myself... heheh.... Love the Lupin by Kara dance.... Super Chun... Bonamana aka Boom la mana is next.. hheh

I happen to do this... now no more d.... T.T

My new life.... Sort of.....

Since after coming back from PLKN, I was messed up and all delusional as you all know from the last post. And I kinda thank the JLKN for sending me into the second batch.

At least that way, I don't need to 'grief' for so long. School actually occupies me and makes me thing no other but studies. I have to say, in CBN, I tend to concentrate more and study more. Maybe is because the competition is tight here and everyone wants to be the top student.

The teachers are also quite good, at least is not that kind that you ask more then one time then you kena scolding. So I'm quite satisfied with that.

ANNNNNND!!!!!!!!!! Today I went to school as usual not expecting any activities for us Lower 6..... Well, that was what I thought as this is a new school and we consider as new students. So of course lerrr we lay low from being too active.

Ended up we had to attend this so called 'Surprised' interview by the teachers to elect the new batch of form 6 prefects. Before I even came in to CBN, and when I graduated from BGS, i made up my mind not to involve in any post or activities during my form 6.

I mean I might still go 'harrest' the HQ at times but I won't be as active as I used to. Form 6 is a critical year for me and I really have to perform well in order to get at least a scholarship to University, and I'm major scared I won't get one.

But the teachers are sort of trying to push us to be a prefect. They said loads of good things about prefect and is sort of like a mind set changing environment that you'll change 360 degrees confirm....

That I don't know, but what I know is I really want to concentrate solely on my education right now and I don't need any extra things on my hands as it's already piled up.... So I really hope I don't get elected as a prefect. It would definitely safe alot of time for me and of course, the cost of getting a uniform will also stay in my pocket... ehhehehe...

Till then, gotta sleep!! NiteZ!!

Hidden words and Thoughts....

Ok, I finally got myself to think straight and words are finally piling one by one to actually type this blog. My first blog after PLKN is finally over...

First thing that came to my mind when I reached home was *$%&$#%#%$#&$^*#%....
I couldn't think straight and everything was in a mess. I couldn't help myself but just blurt into a bucketful of tears then only myself would know.

It was only then, I found out that PLKN is finally over. No more Bangun bangun bangun, no more voices of the trainers urging us to be quick, no more eating together, bathing together, laughing together and getting naked together. (Too much detail, I know) And worst of all, no more KSP.....

Maybe is because of what I've gone through all there years, the emotion mixed up I've been travelling in. And when I stepped foot into KSP, my mind went into total clear and I felt as if a burden was lifted off my shoulder, I could think straight and all I felt was happiness...

It was the best 2 1/2 months in my life. I've never felt that happy and that stressless in my life. It was the first time in so many months I haven't had a messed up mind... Even for one day... My mind was total clear and I could make up my mind in everything I do... CLEARLY!!!!!

All I could say is I'm sad that I have to leave that place.... I love that place and will always love that place. That place was my 2 months escape from my 'prison emotion' and it was a place I truly enjoyed myself. My memories with me and left there will always be with me.

My foot steps in KSP,
My shouts in KSP,
My singing in KSP,
My lulluby in KSP,
My laughter in KSP,
And my memories in KSP......

Will always remain in my heart and my mind....
My heaven for 2 months is better then nothing.
KSP.....