Triple Threat

Everytime he wants something done, he wants it
snappy and perfect. And whenever i need something
done, he will always take his own sweet time. I'm
miserable sad to say. I get the blame when others
do something wrong. The others will get the things they
want even though they do negative stuff, as for me, i never
get what i want.

No one really knows what i'm thinking.
Now i'm gonna tell them what i'm thinking. I just found out
being bad is the only way to get what you want and being
good leads you to tears and sadness. I WANNA BE A BAD
GIRL! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT IS HAPPENING
IN THIS WORLD AND I ONLY CARE FOR MYSELF!!!
SO FUCK OFF!!!! I WANT MY OWN LIFE! *sobs~~~~

This shows is so hard to find happiness even you have
a complete family. Sometimes a broken family can be
happier then a complete one. I'm always not up to his
standard. When i do something, he wants more then
the result. When i try to impress him, i get either ignorance
or scolding instead of laughter.

I never get to talk to him. Whenever i need someone to
talk to, he is the first one that come through my mind,
but i dare not talk to him. He never listens and he never
comforts. When i fall, he scolds, he never pick me up to
dust off the dirt. Sometimes a teenage girl needs comfort
from the closest people, family and I can't get it there.

I don't blame them as they live a hard life before this,
but where else can i get comfort? where else can i get
warmth from my people? There was once where i
tried running from home. I have no where to go, i was
lost and wandering at the streets thinking what is my
next move. I want to go home but i don't feel comfortable
staying at home. All i get is anger and tears.

All i want is comfort from my people, i don't want them to
talk about surviving in life or stuff that we need debating,
i wanna talk and i just need someone to listen. To let go all
my frustrations and keep going. But so far, i'm the only one
doing that for myself. I'm sad~~~~~~~~~ pillow anyone?