Overcome by misery

i am surrounded by misery right now. People around me are not around me, whenever i need them the most they flee, whenever i need advise they are busy doing their own stuff. I haven cry for quite some time and is hard for me to cry. Even the highest level of stress can't make me cry. And i'm crying right now in front of my computer as i type this blog. Because the only thing that can make me cry is my family.


They complain that they never got a chance to talk to me and understand me better, but what is happening is they do have the time, is just they don;t have the time to remeber the things i said to them. It is correct that i'm not happy with my family, I'm not statisfied with the way i'm treated and i don't mind. From that incident i learn to live on my own, i learn to do things myself and i learn to solve my own problems, even sometimes i try my luck for a slight attention from them, FAT CHANCE! only times when i ignore them totally, then only they grab the opportunity to 'help' me but that's only for a few moment.


Sometimes i try to make them understand but they never think froma differennt aspect, they are confident with their own opinion that they seldom hear mine. Is also a common thing that i'm used to and i try hard not to complain. But the more i keep it to myself, the harder it is for me to go on with life, i couldn't breath at times and sometimes negative thought would concoure me. It haunts me everytime and i defend myself with positive thoughts, what is left of it.


I admit that stress is the thing i'm handling right now. But i don't take it as a stressful period of time but i take it as a challenge, a challenge that i'm able to cope with, a training for my college life and a learning journey to success. But soemtimes i doubt myself for achieving so many things at once. I'm scare at times but i don't wanna be. I wanna be strong. I wan to stadn on my own two feet and not depend on others.